I always include some pretty pictures to break up all the text, just in case you are wondering how they are related to what I am writing about…..they are not:)
Good evening. I really enjoy these posts and it seems many of you do too. These have been an unexpected wonderful way for me to get back to a little creative writing which I happen to love, and frankly forgot how much I enjoy it, so I am glad it’s been well received. Today I want to talk about trips — girls trips, couple trips, family trips… all of it.
I was recently invited on a girls trip with four, possibly five friends. Two of them are good friends, the others are acquaintances. My initial reaction was “Count me in!” because honestly, just hearing the word vacation gets me excited. I also want to clarify — a girls trip is subjective depending on what kind of trip it is. If it’s a simple one-stop destination, like going to a spa or wellness retreat for a few days, that can actually be really fun because there aren’t too many decisions to make.
But, if it’s a trip to a big city or another country where the goal is to pack in as much as possible — sightseeing, shopping, trying every restaurant — that’s when all the different personalities and opinions come into play… and that’s the part I’m not a big fan of and frankly have learned to say no to.
Now, before you look at me and think “Wow, she’s a total Scrooge,” I promise I’m not! In fact, up until about ten years ago, I was a bit of a G rated party animal — I loved any excuse to go out. The more people, the better. The bigger the group, the more fun I thought it would be. But I think as we get older, we change. We start valuing quality over quantity (my dear mom always used to say this and as always, she was right). So no, I’m not a Scrooge — I’m just someone who’s learned about what I enjoy, what feels comfortable, and I’ve gotten a lot better at recognizing that and standing by it (politely, of course).
To me, big group trips are just… too much. Too many opinions, too many different paces, too many directions. I’m admittedly, strongly opinionated and I tend to move fast. I’m not the type to meander through a store slowly, turning things over and examining every little trinket. I wish I were calmer and more methodical, but I can walk into a store and in about three minutes (often less) , I’ve sized things up. Shopping for me is a solo activity — I honestly don’t enjoy shopping with anyone.
That said, I do remember a big group trip years ago that was absolutely wonderful. We were four families — all with our kids, who were teenagers at the time — and we went to the Dominican Republic. Honestly, it was one of the best trips we’ve ever taken. It worked because everyone had their own space: we each rented separate houses, which gave us room to breathe, but we came together for all the fun — the sporting activities, meals, and evenings. I think it was just being in that particular place, at that particular time, with that age group. The kids all got along so well, and it was such a special window of time.
And I can already picture that a good portion of this new trip that I have been invited on, would involve shopping. Even sightseeing — museums, monuments — I like to go at my own pace. In a group of four or five people, you’re automatically forced to slow down. Then comes the restaurant part: 4-5 people, 4-5 opinions. Where to go, what to eat… you know how that goes. No thanks.
I think even with couples this can apply, depending on the dynamic. But vacations are a whole different ballgame than day-to-day interactions. At home, you see friends or family for a few hours. On vacation, you’re together 24/7 — and except for my immediate family, I’m not sure I want to be with anyone 24/7! (Does that sound awful? Maybe. But I’m just being honest.)
I still remember a family trip to Hawaii about 10 or 11 years ago. Nearly two weeks, eleven people, many with very strong personalities. By the end, I was literally hiding behind the bushes just to have a moment alone. Needless to say, I was the first one on that plane home!
Even group dinners — once something I loved — now feel overwhelming. They’re usually in noisy restaurants where you can barely hear the person across from you. I find them exhausting rather than enjoyable. These days, I prefer smaller, more intimate dinners — four to six people max. Big groups in loud restaurants really diminish my social bandwidth.
The one exception? A dinner party at home. That’s different — you can actually talk, enjoy conversation, and connect with everyone at the table. I still love that kind of gathering.
So now I’m curious — how many of you feel the same way? Do you thrive in big group trips and dinners, or do you prefer something smaller and calmer? And just in case you’re wondering what I decided about the girls trip?I opted out. And I was honest, about large group trips not being my thing and it occurring at a busy time for us.
Though I’m sure it will be fun, the more I thought about it and weighed the pros and cons, the cons somewhat outweighed the pros — which actually made the decision pretty easy. The truth is, it’s coming at a somewhat hectic time when we have other things going on, so it became a convenient excuse… but not a lie.
Maturity has taught me… “you will know”…if you doubt yourself…probably best to…not. I adore my family…huge “Family Reunions”…not so much…course, I’m old. franki
I had to laugh at your comment about shopping
I also like to shop solo- I’m in and out
We do not like big groups for dinners because of the noise level
6 is the max for it to be doable
Shopping, dining out , what to do next? can’t say that is me anymore. Reading a book on a shaded veranda , not baking on the beach, gets my vote. Not to say we are set in our ways but we kind of are
I’m with you Tina . I shop alone and i do not enjoy huge groups of folks at a dinner party either. I do love large family parties that offer a nice selection of good food and especially buffet if its anything connected to a fairly good sized group. I used to cook up a storm for all occasions but now i use a caterer service and then i add a few things i know my guests love that i prepare myself to give it some personal touches often with ‘doggie bags’ for my guests to take home with them. And speciality sweets are more than welcome especially from the men lol I used to get phone calls two months before Christmas from all the men and husbands asking if i was going to make certain foods over the holidays and often it was some of my family canned goods i put up as Christmas gifts. and a family fruit cake from Italy that is lengthy to prepare. But out of this world. Tina if i let everyone who asks for my cell number to have it i would never get anything done instead i say they can have my email but i am very busy so they may have to wait to get my answer.. lol Some of the busy ones like us get it some unfortunately do not, lol Stand your ground.
LIke you I am a ” Mission Shopper” I too feel shopping is a solo sport ; except grocery shopping. I’ll hire someone to do that !!
Insofar as a group trip… I have found using a travel agent with expertise in a city, resort, country etc is the best solution. All the agent to recommend the restaurants BEFORE leaving …so the group can discuss and decide and pack accordingly.
I so agree with you and am glad I have learned the art of saying no. Relaxed and intimate dinners in private homes are so much more enjoyable as we get older..
I agree with you 100%! I love my friends but friends do not always want to do the same things when traveling. My husband and I only like to travel with one other couple at the most…
The thought of “herding” to do anything sounds like pure torture. Shopping, museums, etc are solo activities for me. If we’re going out to eat, I want to know ahead of time where we are going so I can check out the menu ahead of time and know that there will be something I will eat. Have you noticed that people won’t even give you a few minutes of silence to look at a menu? Surely whatever they’re saying is more important! (Roll eyes) This is definitely more true now than when I was younger, but I’ve never liked group activities. I’m also fairly conservative and don’t enjoy hearing people berate or criticize others’ beliefs even though I never divulge my opinions around others.
Tina I am with you 100%. Solo shopper, hate loud restaurants (I wear hearing aids) and it makes loud rooms very uncomfortable and I spend the evening asking people to “say it again!” I want to go at my own pace, eat when and where I want, and not be told what to do next. My sister and I took a week road trip over the summer. I few days with a friend who lives on the lake. Shopping with them was a chore. Not my kind of things. Yup 90 seconds, usually can tell me if the shop is for me. After we spent a few days in Mpls the hotel was wonderful and having separate rooms a blessing. One day to myself the rest poking thru antique shops, and one day touring the James J Hill house in St Paul. An easy perfect get away.
You are so right, not into crowds, large gatherings BUT love entertaining at home. If it’s a cocktail party – Max 15 people, if it’s a sit down meal in the Diningroom Max 6-8 People. Love getting out the Crystal, China, Silver let’s go for it. You only live once. Enjoy your friends. If you have lots of friends and family spread out the invite over 2 sets of dinners in the month. Cheers! 🥂🌸
I absolutely loathe big (at a restaurant or someone’s home) dinner parties. But the last two girls trips I went on were wonderful. Everyone is laid back. But at my age we have pretty much cut out the difficult people!
I agree about shopping alone or just with my husband. I know what I like and do so at my pace
100 percent agree about large trips / events – I prefer smaller and more intimate groups
The smaller the better for me. When I was younger I loved big groups whether it was to eat at great restaurant or to travel together.. as I’ve gotten older my “groups” are much smaller and happily so.
That’s funny…but not a lie. I agree about the shopping and restaurant choices because everyone is opinionated. But I just go with the flow because I can always find something to eat and the shopping is going to be at my pace or don’t invite me to vacations. I love getting together with people and being social. But I will not go with some people that drinks a lot of alcohol because they get foolish!! Maybe because I’ve never tasted of alcohol and have no desire at 68yrs. I have fun and a happy person just drinking water.
Intimate gatherings are where the magic happens. Shopping alone is always my preference. I can accomplish far more, however I love shopping with my daughter. I’ve only been on a couple girl trips. I don’t normally enjoy them, but a trip to South Africa with my best girlfriend will always be a warm memory especially now that I’ve lost her to brain cancer. Quality over quantity has always been important to me.
Tina, I am totally in agreement with you! I prefer small get-togethers, preferably at home or at my son’s home with the grandkids. I also like my time alone when shopping, although I do miss my mom when we would go “bumming” on Saturdays. So now that she’s passed, I just tell my husband, I’m not shopping, I’m bumming 🙂 (and FYI, I also would have declined the girls’ trip, for all the reasons you stated) And of course, that leaves you more time with Phillip! What could be better than that!
Yes. Totally agree with your thoughts. We are old enough to find peace in sometimes saying no. I too enjoy intimate gatherings and shopping alone. I hate the thought of taking a complicated trip.
Shopping alone is my preference too! I don’t need anyone else’s opinion on an outfit. ..either I like it on or I don’t! I too can size up a shop with a quick glance around, then a yes or no if I should delve deeper into the store! I have had a very recent two week vacation with two other couples who we have been friends with since our high school years…amazing, right? We shared villas in Italy and had the most wonderful experience. We all spent most of our time together. I was so pleasantly surprised! I enjoy planning a dinner out with a few other couples. It makes for good conversation and a pleasant evening.
I am on your page Tina! I consider myself to be a social individual, however,I do not want to negotiate when ,where and how on a vacation. There is nothing better than a great dinner(I prefer at someone’s home) sharing stories and heartfelt laughter in a relaxed environment. I don’t need “social” pressure!!
We have a friend that loves to organise hiring a house or sometimes its her house by the river for group getaways or parties often for her birthday or New year. It really pushes me out of my comfort zone as I am very private and prefer to stay in my own space really but I actually do enjoy it. She organises all the restaurants, activities etc.. so there is not alot to think about. The groups are a mix of couples and singles.
I agree with you. Small dinner group is ideal. I do have 2 friends I can shop with, but one at a time. We separate at the entrance, shop, text when we are checking out, then lunch. Always a fun trip
Agree, small group , home dinner parties are enjoyable. Agree 100% with all you share. As you age you cannot take too much noise or activity. I used to like to shop but not any more. So much has changed since covid. Many products are just not the same. I like to cook and am disappointed by selections that have changed.
So honest and true Tina!
I also am a solo shopper and can be in and out of a shop pronto. I also like to double back to some shops and I think that would annoy my fellow shoppers 🤗
It’s true, as you get older you learn to say no to things that previously you would have said yes to as you didn’t want to offend anyone. I’ve learned to say, it doesn’t suit and not really give a reason. People accept this. When done politely of course.
Travelling, most definitely small groups the same as restaurants!
We entertain a lot at home with family and friends!
Secretly, I think I’m a bit of a control freak so I can be in control of everything that happens at home.
I’ve loved reading all the other responses…everyone seems to be on the same page!
The part about changing preferences over time really hit home. I used to be all about cramming as much as possible into a trip, but now I find myself valuing slower, more meaningful experiences. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who feels that way!
I wholeheartedly agree with you !! First off I’m rather like you in that I love shopping on my own or with my daughters. That’s it !! When you go with others you get home to discover you didn’t see 1 thing that interested you. And I certainly don’t want to linger in some shops !!
When we travel , my husband & I are on the go the whole time. We’ve planned out our trip so as not to miss any highlights. We have researched our destination prior to travelling . And we enjoy being up early ……. & off we go. No sleeping in on holidays.!! That often doesn’t suit other couples. None of this “ breakfast at 10.00 “ unless it’s a special Sunday Brunch.
I think the best thing to do is to set ground rules prior to leaving on a trip. And even then maybe only 1 or perhaps 2 couples that you’d travel with.
As for large , noisy restaurants ? What is the point of a big group ? You’ll find you couldn’t hear 1/2 of the group during the entire meal .
I guess the best person to travel with is your husband ……..
but I must say I also adore travelling on my own .
Why do restaurants think they have to blast music at such high decibels now, even at the outdoor seating? When we eat out, it’s hard to find a restaurant that doesn’t do this. I realize that part of it is my problem with hearing loss at my age but so many people are mentioning this factor in these comments! Regarding shopping, going with my dear husband is the worst. We laugh about one time in the past when we went to a very large home goods type of store together. I was caught up in a big display just inside the door when he walked ahead of me, apparently circled the whole store, then returned to me still by the front door and said, “I’ll be in the car.” Lesson learned with that one! As for trips with a large number of people, I haven’t really done many of those, but I would agree with you that they would be more problematic than enjoyable. There is something to be said for getting older and understanding our own preferences about these kinds of things. Kudos to you for following your instincts about the potential girls trip.
Oh- so on your page… especially about the shopping. I like to shop alone- I don’t even like people at the store trying to help me. And- I can see pretty quickly if it is a store I’m interested in.
We just returned from Italy on a two week vacation. Six of us (3 couples) moved hotels 3 times (2 in the city, 2 in the countryside). It was not hectic bc everything was planned ahead – private drivers, private tours and dinner reservations. Truly a magical trip!
I agree on so many levels! I moved away about 5 years ago from my home town where I raised my family. I try to get back as much as I can. Love to see my girlfriends and have found meeting a few at a time is much better than a big group dinner. More intimate and a really good “catch up” always happens!
We used to travel with a large group of good friends…bicycle trips to Italy, the Czech Republic, France. Everything was planned.; bike itineraries, meals, hotels. It was loads of fun as we interacted at meal times, biked in smaller groups depending on our ability and then went to bed early from fatigue. Then we “graduated” to cruises when our biking days were over and once rented a huge house in Tuscany. What made this enjoyable was each couple having their own car for touring or staying home by the pool. Today, this is no longer possible for lots of reasons—age, health limitations and a few deaths. These are very cherished memories of special times with dear friends. Today, dinners at home are wonderful and dinners out with no more than 6 at the table are our main way to socialize.
Oh my gosh…my sentiments exactly – especially the shopping! I hate to go with anyone because, like you, I size up the store in about 3 minutes and rifle through and move on. The girls trip sounded like a lot of work to me…the type that would leave you exhausted and needing another vacation before returning to work. I agreed with absolutely everything you said!
I so agree! I believe as we age and mature, we do develop introvert characteristics: need for solitude to recharge, time alone, enjoy internal reflection, prefer a few close meaningful friendships with deep connection rather than a large circle of acquaintances, prefer writing to speaking, dislike small talk, and often have high self-awareness with who we are, even if it differs from social norms. Maybe it’s just the maturity and wisdom that come with age and experience. I only shop with my best friend…my husband, who has great taste and enjoys shopping much more than I do! 😉 Unable to coordinate long family vacations with busy children and grandchildren – long weekends at resorts work best for us. We always travel alone as a couple, so I completely agree that too many opinions and personalities would be stressful.
As always, your posts are thoughtful and enlightening. Many thanks.
Your comfort number is what rules, whether it is a dinner party or a Gil’s trip. To me 8 is when for a beach stay with the girls means just two cars to go places and to park. Easy breezy and gives everyone the time to just enjoy being together under just two umbrellas.
I laughed at this post. The comment about hiding behind the bushes was so funny. I agree with a lot of what you said. I do take a girls trip once every Sept with 3 of my college best friends (we are all scattered) and this one trip keeps us connected. We have all grown into different people with different careers, etc…but somehow we all revert to the little group of four that we were in college. It really is fun, but we always go to a spa or a beachy place where its easy and we are really just relaxing, not going sightseeing, museums, etc….don’t know we would mesh as well if we were as our personalities and pace of doing things is quite different. We also like doing a couples trip with one couple that we are very good friends with, every other year or so. They are super easy going and let us kind of plan everything, they just go with the flow.
I do agree about the large scaled dinners in restaurants, nothing enjoyable about them!
SO agree about the shopping. I must do it alone. I move super fast and most of my friends do not:) Even my daughter and I cannot shop together, as she loves to browse and look at every little thing. Fun to read over the comments. Glad you made the right decision, a group of 6 does sound like a lot of work!
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I always include some pretty pictures to break up all the text, just in case you are wondering how they are related to what I am writing about…..they are not:)
Good evening. I really enjoy these posts and it seems many of you do too. These have been an unexpected wonderful way for me to get back to a little creative writing which I happen to love, and frankly forgot how much I enjoy it, so I am glad it’s been well received. Today I want to talk about trips — girls trips, couple trips, family trips… all of it.
I was recently invited on a girls trip with four, possibly five friends. Two of them are good friends, the others are acquaintances. My initial reaction was “Count me in!” because honestly, just hearing the word vacation gets me excited. I also want to clarify — a girls trip is subjective depending on what kind of trip it is. If it’s a simple one-stop destination, like going to a spa or wellness retreat for a few days, that can actually be really fun because there aren’t too many decisions to make.
But, if it’s a trip to a big city or another country where the goal is to pack in as much as possible — sightseeing, shopping, trying every restaurant — that’s when all the different personalities and opinions come into play… and that’s the part I’m not a big fan of and frankly have learned to say no to.
Now, before you look at me and think “Wow, she’s a total Scrooge,” I promise I’m not! In fact, up until about ten years ago, I was a bit of a G rated party animal — I loved any excuse to go out. The more people, the better. The bigger the group, the more fun I thought it would be. But I think as we get older, we change. We start valuing quality over quantity (my dear mom always used to say this and as always, she was right). So no, I’m not a Scrooge — I’m just someone who’s learned about what I enjoy, what feels comfortable, and I’ve gotten a lot better at recognizing that and standing by it (politely, of course).
To me, big group trips are just… too much. Too many opinions, too many different paces, too many directions. I’m admittedly, strongly opinionated and I tend to move fast. I’m not the type to meander through a store slowly, turning things over and examining every little trinket. I wish I were calmer and more methodical, but I can walk into a store and in about three minutes (often less) , I’ve sized things up. Shopping for me is a solo activity — I honestly don’t enjoy shopping with anyone.
That said, I do remember a big group trip years ago that was absolutely wonderful. We were four families — all with our kids, who were teenagers at the time — and we went to the Dominican Republic. Honestly, it was one of the best trips we’ve ever taken. It worked because everyone had their own space: we each rented separate houses, which gave us room to breathe, but we came together for all the fun — the sporting activities, meals, and evenings. I think it was just being in that particular place, at that particular time, with that age group. The kids all got along so well, and it was such a special window of time.
And I can already picture that a good portion of this new trip that I have been invited on, would involve shopping. Even sightseeing — museums, monuments — I like to go at my own pace. In a group of four or five people, you’re automatically forced to slow down. Then comes the restaurant part: 4-5 people, 4-5 opinions. Where to go, what to eat… you know how that goes. No thanks.
I think even with couples this can apply, depending on the dynamic. But vacations are a whole different ballgame than day-to-day interactions. At home, you see friends or family for a few hours. On vacation, you’re together 24/7 — and except for my immediate family, I’m not sure I want to be with anyone 24/7! (Does that sound awful? Maybe. But I’m just being honest.)
I still remember a family trip to Hawaii about 10 or 11 years ago. Nearly two weeks, eleven people, many with very strong personalities. By the end, I was literally hiding behind the bushes just to have a moment alone. Needless to say, I was the first one on that plane home!
Even group dinners — once something I loved — now feel overwhelming. They’re usually in noisy restaurants where you can barely hear the person across from you. I find them exhausting rather than enjoyable. These days, I prefer smaller, more intimate dinners — four to six people max. Big groups in loud restaurants really diminish my social bandwidth.
The one exception? A dinner party at home. That’s different — you can actually talk, enjoy conversation, and connect with everyone at the table. I still love that kind of gathering.
So now I’m curious — how many of you feel the same way? Do you thrive in big group trips and dinners, or do you prefer something smaller and calmer? And just in case you’re wondering what I decided about the girls trip?I opted out. And I was honest, about large group trips not being my thing and it occurring at a busy time for us.
Though I’m sure it will be fun, the more I thought about it and weighed the pros and cons, the cons somewhat outweighed the pros — which actually made the decision pretty easy. The truth is, it’s coming at a somewhat hectic time when we have other things going on, so it became a convenient excuse… but not a lie.
OK, your turn to talk….
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Maturity has taught me… “you will know”…if you doubt yourself…probably best to…not. I adore my family…huge “Family Reunions”…not so much…course, I’m old. franki
I had to laugh at your comment about shopping
I also like to shop solo- I’m in and out
We do not like big groups for dinners because of the noise level
6 is the max for it to be doable
Agree with you 100%!
Sometimes I think we are clones ! Pretty much agree with everything you said (especially about sizing up a store in a few minutes)
Shopping, dining out , what to do next? can’t say that is me anymore. Reading a book on a shaded veranda , not baking on the beach, gets my vote. Not to say we are set in our ways but we kind of are
I’m with you Tina . I shop alone and i do not enjoy huge groups of folks at a dinner party either. I do love large family parties that offer a nice selection of good food and especially buffet if its anything connected to a fairly good sized group. I used to cook up a storm for all occasions but now i use a caterer service and then i add a few things i know my guests love that i prepare myself to give it some personal touches often with ‘doggie bags’ for my guests to take home with them. And speciality sweets are more than welcome especially from the men lol I used to get phone calls two months before Christmas from all the men and husbands asking if i was going to make certain foods over the holidays and often it was some of my family canned goods i put up as Christmas gifts. and a family fruit cake from Italy that is lengthy to prepare. But out of this world. Tina if i let everyone who asks for my cell number to have it i would never get anything done instead i say they can have my email but i am very busy so they may have to wait to get my answer.. lol Some of the busy ones like us get it some unfortunately do not, lol Stand your ground.
Please let Tina post your recipe. That way we can all have it. :-}
LIke you I am a ” Mission Shopper” I too feel shopping is a solo sport ; except grocery shopping. I’ll hire someone to do that !!
Insofar as a group trip… I have found using a travel agent with expertise in a city, resort, country etc is the best solution. All the agent to recommend the restaurants BEFORE leaving …so the group can discuss and decide and pack accordingly.
I so agree with you and am glad I have learned the art of saying no. Relaxed and intimate dinners in private homes are so much more enjoyable as we get older..
I agree with you 100%! I love my friends but friends do not always want to do the same things when traveling. My husband and I only like to travel with one other couple at the most…
The thought of “herding” to do anything sounds like pure torture. Shopping, museums, etc are solo activities for me. If we’re going out to eat, I want to know ahead of time where we are going so I can check out the menu ahead of time and know that there will be something I will eat. Have you noticed that people won’t even give you a few minutes of silence to look at a menu? Surely whatever they’re saying is more important! (Roll eyes) This is definitely more true now than when I was younger, but I’ve never liked group activities. I’m also fairly conservative and don’t enjoy hearing people berate or criticize others’ beliefs even though I never divulge my opinions around others.
Tina I am with you 100%. Solo shopper, hate loud restaurants (I wear hearing aids) and it makes loud rooms very uncomfortable and I spend the evening asking people to “say it again!” I want to go at my own pace, eat when and where I want, and not be told what to do next. My sister and I took a week road trip over the summer. I few days with a friend who lives on the lake. Shopping with them was a chore. Not my kind of things. Yup 90 seconds, usually can tell me if the shop is for me. After we spent a few days in Mpls the hotel was wonderful and having separate rooms a blessing. One day to myself the rest poking thru antique shops, and one day touring the James J Hill house in St Paul. An easy perfect get away.
You are so right, not into crowds, large gatherings BUT love entertaining at home. If it’s a cocktail party – Max 15 people, if it’s a sit down meal in the Diningroom Max 6-8 People. Love getting out the Crystal, China, Silver let’s go for it. You only live once. Enjoy your friends. If you have lots of friends and family spread out the invite over 2 sets of dinners in the month. Cheers! 🥂🌸
I absolutely loathe big (at a restaurant or someone’s home) dinner parties. But the last two girls trips I went on were wonderful. Everyone is laid back. But at my age we have pretty much cut out the difficult people!
I so agree with your comment. Love girls trips. Small dinner parties and quiet restaurants. We know who to travel with by now!
I agree about shopping alone or just with my husband. I know what I like and do so at my pace
100 percent agree about large trips / events – I prefer smaller and more intimate groups
The smaller the better for me. When I was younger I loved big groups whether it was to eat at great restaurant or to travel together.. as I’ve gotten older my “groups” are much smaller and happily so.
You read my mind.
Thank you
That’s funny…but not a lie. I agree about the shopping and restaurant choices because everyone is opinionated. But I just go with the flow because I can always find something to eat and the shopping is going to be at my pace or don’t invite me to vacations. I love getting together with people and being social. But I will not go with some people that drinks a lot of alcohol because they get foolish!! Maybe because I’ve never tasted of alcohol and have no desire at 68yrs. I have fun and a happy person just drinking water.
Intimate gatherings are where the magic happens. Shopping alone is always my preference. I can accomplish far more, however I love shopping with my daughter. I’ve only been on a couple girl trips. I don’t normally enjoy them, but a trip to South Africa with my best girlfriend will always be a warm memory especially now that I’ve lost her to brain cancer. Quality over quantity has always been important to me.
Tina, I am totally in agreement with you! I prefer small get-togethers, preferably at home or at my son’s home with the grandkids. I also like my time alone when shopping, although I do miss my mom when we would go “bumming” on Saturdays. So now that she’s passed, I just tell my husband, I’m not shopping, I’m bumming 🙂 (and FYI, I also would have declined the girls’ trip, for all the reasons you stated) And of course, that leaves you more time with Phillip! What could be better than that!
Totally agree
Yes. Totally agree with your thoughts. We are old enough to find peace in sometimes saying no. I too enjoy intimate gatherings and shopping alone. I hate the thought of taking a complicated trip.
Shopping alone is my preference too! I don’t need anyone else’s opinion on an outfit. ..either I like it on or I don’t! I too can size up a shop with a quick glance around, then a yes or no if I should delve deeper into the store! I have had a very recent two week vacation with two other couples who we have been friends with since our high school years…amazing, right? We shared villas in Italy and had the most wonderful experience. We all spent most of our time together. I was so pleasantly surprised! I enjoy planning a dinner out with a few other couples. It makes for good conversation and a pleasant evening.
I am on your page Tina! I consider myself to be a social individual, however,I do not want to negotiate when ,where and how on a vacation. There is nothing better than a great dinner(I prefer at someone’s home) sharing stories and heartfelt laughter in a relaxed environment. I don’t need “social” pressure!!
Oh Boy do I relate!,, even my constantly growing family makes me wanna run away for awhile!,,
Honestly, a girls’ trip sounds like torture to me lol
We have a friend that loves to organise hiring a house or sometimes its her house by the river for group getaways or parties often for her birthday or New year. It really pushes me out of my comfort zone as I am very private and prefer to stay in my own space really but I actually do enjoy it. She organises all the restaurants, activities etc.. so there is not alot to think about. The groups are a mix of couples and singles.
I agree with you. Small dinner group is ideal. I do have 2 friends I can shop with, but one at a time. We separate at the entrance, shop, text when we are checking out, then lunch. Always a fun trip
We are spirit animals
Agree, small group , home dinner parties are enjoyable. Agree 100% with all you share. As you age you cannot take too much noise or activity. I used to like to shop but not any more. So much has changed since covid. Many products are just not the same. I like to cook and am disappointed by selections that have changed.
So honest and true Tina!
I also am a solo shopper and can be in and out of a shop pronto. I also like to double back to some shops and I think that would annoy my fellow shoppers 🤗
It’s true, as you get older you learn to say no to things that previously you would have said yes to as you didn’t want to offend anyone. I’ve learned to say, it doesn’t suit and not really give a reason. People accept this. When done politely of course.
Travelling, most definitely small groups the same as restaurants!
We entertain a lot at home with family and friends!
Secretly, I think I’m a bit of a control freak so I can be in control of everything that happens at home.
I’ve loved reading all the other responses…everyone seems to be on the same page!
The part about changing preferences over time really hit home. I used to be all about cramming as much as possible into a trip, but now I find myself valuing slower, more meaningful experiences. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who feels that way!
I wholeheartedly agree with you !! First off I’m rather like you in that I love shopping on my own or with my daughters. That’s it !! When you go with others you get home to discover you didn’t see 1 thing that interested you. And I certainly don’t want to linger in some shops !!
When we travel , my husband & I are on the go the whole time. We’ve planned out our trip so as not to miss any highlights. We have researched our destination prior to travelling . And we enjoy being up early ……. & off we go. No sleeping in on holidays.!! That often doesn’t suit other couples. None of this “ breakfast at 10.00 “ unless it’s a special Sunday Brunch.
I think the best thing to do is to set ground rules prior to leaving on a trip. And even then maybe only 1 or perhaps 2 couples that you’d travel with.
As for large , noisy restaurants ? What is the point of a big group ? You’ll find you couldn’t hear 1/2 of the group during the entire meal .
I guess the best person to travel with is your husband ……..
but I must say I also adore travelling on my own .
Why do restaurants think they have to blast music at such high decibels now, even at the outdoor seating? When we eat out, it’s hard to find a restaurant that doesn’t do this. I realize that part of it is my problem with hearing loss at my age but so many people are mentioning this factor in these comments! Regarding shopping, going with my dear husband is the worst. We laugh about one time in the past when we went to a very large home goods type of store together. I was caught up in a big display just inside the door when he walked ahead of me, apparently circled the whole store, then returned to me still by the front door and said, “I’ll be in the car.” Lesson learned with that one! As for trips with a large number of people, I haven’t really done many of those, but I would agree with you that they would be more problematic than enjoyable. There is something to be said for getting older and understanding our own preferences about these kinds of things. Kudos to you for following your instincts about the potential girls trip.
Oh- so on your page… especially about the shopping. I like to shop alone- I don’t even like people at the store trying to help me. And- I can see pretty quickly if it is a store I’m interested in.
It’s called maturity
We just returned from Italy on a two week vacation. Six of us (3 couples) moved hotels 3 times (2 in the city, 2 in the countryside). It was not hectic bc everything was planned ahead – private drivers, private tours and dinner reservations. Truly a magical trip!
I agree on so many levels! I moved away about 5 years ago from my home town where I raised my family. I try to get back as much as I can. Love to see my girlfriends and have found meeting a few at a time is much better than a big group dinner. More intimate and a really good “catch up” always happens!
Totally agree with your remarks, Tina. I do think it’s also an age thing. I find the older I get the wiser I am about quality versus quantity.
I’m with you all the way. We have to do what works best for each of us
I love the pictures of blue and white with florals .
If I had a home a big as yours I would only have dinner parties at home.
We used to travel with a large group of good friends…bicycle trips to Italy, the Czech Republic, France. Everything was planned.; bike itineraries, meals, hotels. It was loads of fun as we interacted at meal times, biked in smaller groups depending on our ability and then went to bed early from fatigue. Then we “graduated” to cruises when our biking days were over and once rented a huge house in Tuscany. What made this enjoyable was each couple having their own car for touring or staying home by the pool. Today, this is no longer possible for lots of reasons—age, health limitations and a few deaths. These are very cherished memories of special times with dear friends. Today, dinners at home are wonderful and dinners out with no more than 6 at the table are our main way to socialize.
Oh my gosh…my sentiments exactly – especially the shopping! I hate to go with anyone because, like you, I size up the store in about 3 minutes and rifle through and move on. The girls trip sounded like a lot of work to me…the type that would leave you exhausted and needing another vacation before returning to work. I agreed with absolutely everything you said!
I so agree! I believe as we age and mature, we do develop introvert characteristics: need for solitude to recharge, time alone, enjoy internal reflection, prefer a few close meaningful friendships with deep connection rather than a large circle of acquaintances, prefer writing to speaking, dislike small talk, and often have high self-awareness with who we are, even if it differs from social norms. Maybe it’s just the maturity and wisdom that come with age and experience. I only shop with my best friend…my husband, who has great taste and enjoys shopping much more than I do! 😉 Unable to coordinate long family vacations with busy children and grandchildren – long weekends at resorts work best for us. We always travel alone as a couple, so I completely agree that too many opinions and personalities would be stressful.
As always, your posts are thoughtful and enlightening. Many thanks.
I do a yearly girls trip. There are 6 of us. We are all related in some way. We gel perfectly and treasure that about ourselves. No drama. Only fun.
Could not have said it better. I agree with you.
Your comfort number is what rules, whether it is a dinner party or a Gil’s trip. To me 8 is when for a beach stay with the girls means just two cars to go places and to park. Easy breezy and gives everyone the time to just enjoy being together under just two umbrellas.
I am laughing at the comments! It sounds like I and many of your readers are on the same wavelength, Tina
I laughed at this post. The comment about hiding behind the bushes was so funny. I agree with a lot of what you said. I do take a girls trip once every Sept with 3 of my college best friends (we are all scattered) and this one trip keeps us connected. We have all grown into different people with different careers, etc…but somehow we all revert to the little group of four that we were in college. It really is fun, but we always go to a spa or a beachy place where its easy and we are really just relaxing, not going sightseeing, museums, etc….don’t know we would mesh as well if we were as our personalities and pace of doing things is quite different. We also like doing a couples trip with one couple that we are very good friends with, every other year or so. They are super easy going and let us kind of plan everything, they just go with the flow.
I do agree about the large scaled dinners in restaurants, nothing enjoyable about them!
SO agree about the shopping. I must do it alone. I move super fast and most of my friends do not:) Even my daughter and I cannot shop together, as she loves to browse and look at every little thing. Fun to read over the comments. Glad you made the right decision, a group of 6 does sound like a lot of work!
I absolutely agree with you all the way. Fewer, in a personal setting, are far better. Quality over quantity!!!!