Hi friends and happy Friday, another episode of Let’s Talk, and boy do I feel passionately about this one. I have a feeling it’s going to resonate with a lot of you, so I’m genuinely curious to hear your thoughts. Before I begin, let me acknowledge the obvious: I know this is the definition of a first-world problem, and I am absolutely not asking for sympathy. Trust me, I realize there are far bigger things to worry about.
That said, the experience got me thinking, and I’m genuinely curious whether I’m alone in feeling this way or if others have noticed the same thing.
We have a wedding in Montana next week, and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to get something new. Mind you, I’ve known about this wedding for months. Yet for some strange, unexplained reason, I often tend to wait until the last minute for these things. Can anyone explain why we do this to ourselves or is there a name for this?
I got so caught up with my design project, house decisions, then shower preparations, then throw in getting a major migraine which left me practically debilitated for a few days and before I knew it, shopping for a dress had moved from “I’ll get to it” to “I need something immediately.” My list of things to do felt like a mile long.
Like many of us, I started out online. I ordered six dresses, hoping one would be “the one.” One surprise was that one of the dresses (not a cheap dress mind you) arrived in a bag. Yes, a plastic bag not even wrapped in tissue! I was shocked. It sure took points off from liking the dress even before I opened it (turns out I didn’t love it anyway) One was nice enough to keep as a backup, and another I absolutely loved but I needed another size. I got in touch immediately and even paid for expedited shipping, convinced I had solved the problem. The box arrived, I opened it with excitement, and……… they had sent the wrong dress in the wrong size. When I call them, I find out they are sold o t of the dress I wanted in all sizes! Seven days before our trip.
One other thing I noticed even from the higher end designers, when I would see a dress I liked (even if it was more than I wanted to spend) they didn’t even have sizes. Many of them had a 0 or 2 and that was it. That should be my biggest problem:) Then I read that due to fast fashion, many higher end labels are not producing the same quantities that they once did. Somewhat explains the sparse offerings.
At that point, I was so frustrated and looking for something under pressure is no fun, so I decided to devote an entire day to shopping in person (do not literally remember the last time I did this)! I left no stone unturned. Local boutiques, department stores, specialty stores, even an extra 45-minute drive to another Neiman Marcus. And here’s what shocked me.
Out of 12 stores, I did not find a single dress that I wanted to buy.
Not one.
I was honestly stunned by how little selection there was and, more importantly, by the quality. I remember walking into Neiman Marcus years ago and seeing beautiful clothes everywhere. Now? I was in and out of the evening wear department in literally 2 minutes flat (I also am a professional canvasser, I can walk in and size things up fast). Nordstroms and Bloomingdales felt like more of the same, the selection at Nordstreom was especially dismal. Most of what I saw felt poorly made, low quality and was cheap looking.
While I was at Neiman Marcus in White Plains, I looked up nearby boutiques that carried eveningwear. One sounded somewhat promising based on the conversation I had with the owner over the phone. The only problem was that I was running short on time, and it was located downtown. If you’ve ever tried finding a parking spot there, you know it’s about as likely as hitting the lottery.
I happened to notice a large hotel nearby, so I pulled in at lightning speed and asked the valet if I could leave my car for 15 minutes. Thankfully, he was kind enough to oblige.
I practically sprinted to the store. The owner had thoughtfully pulled a few dresses for me to try, and while I appreciated the effort, I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I really didn’t care for any of them, at first glance, I knew it was a waste. Beyond being the wrong colors, the quality just wasn’t there, they looked almost “polyester-ish” And these were not inexpensive dresses.
That was the moment it really hit me.
Quality simply isn’t what it used to be.
My mom used to say this all the time and I heard her voice in my head. I mean, how hard is to design a beautiful, well made dress in a rich elegant fabric? In my mind, I knew exactly what I wanted. In fact, I could have designed five dresses on the spot that I would have been doing backflips over had I found them.
The other thing I noticed? Where have all the sleeves gone?
I wanted a gown with sleeves—not only because Montana has been very cool, but because I know plenty of women, myself included, who prefer a little arm coverage. Arms took a little extended vacation over the winter:) Yet finding a beautiful gown with sleeves felt nearly impossible.
The truth is, this isn’t entirely new. It’s been happening for a while, but it feels like it’s gotten significantly worse.
Over the years, I’ve had a few gowns made by a wonderfully talented local Italian woman who was once a seamstress for Oscar de la Renta back in its heyday. She has helped me out more than once, but she’s now in her 80s and understandably doesn’t do much sewing anymore. Believe me, if there had been enough time, I would have been knocking on her door begging for an emergency dress!
By the time all of this unfolded, however, there simply wasn’t enough time.
So I drove home that evening, starving because I hadn’t even stopped to eat, exhausted from a full day of looking and not finding, and feeling pretty defeated that I hadn’t found a single contender.
Then something funny happened.
The dress that had been designated as the “backup” suddenly started looking a whole lot better.
Was it my dream dress? No.
But it was a beautiful color, it fit well, and at that point, that was more than enough. In fact, after the day I had, its value quadrupled in my eyes!
Lesson learned. Next time, I won’t wait until the last minute. I may even consider designing and making my own dress. And perhaps it’s also time to show my arms a little more attention before next wedding season!
Now it’s your turn.
Am I the only one who feels this way? Have you noticed a decline in the quality and selection of clothing over the years? Do you struggle to find special-occasion dresses that feel beautiful, well-made, and worth the price?
And two more questions…
Where on earth are all the sleeves? (To be fair, if I was wanting to look for something sleeveless, I would have had a lot more options)
Can dept stores please not ship expensive items in a flimsy plastic bag? It sure does take away from the experience and anticipation of getting something pretty!
Things are cheap, and mis sized. And not everyone want a strapless dress( unless you are 30!)
I just try to remember that the bride is the one that everybody needs to focus on, and that no one is going to really remember the dress I wore after the wedding. I’ve been to so many occasions that I just really wish I had pulled something out of my closet that I already owned instead of killing myself running around frantically looking for something and settling.
My son is getting married in nyc this Fall. I’ve known for a year and starting shopping last Fall. It has been a nightmare! Dresses shipped and returned. Going to Nordstroms and NM nothing! I went to a cheesy prom store and actually found something. Not my favorite but it’s flattering. Then onto the rehearsal. I wanted the Landman Dress! If you know you know. Totally sold out! I contacted the designer directly and they recut and sent it to me. They were beyond kind and accommodating. Maybe that’s the way to go. Contact the designer directly. I also shop for evening clothes year around. I rewear dresses and no one knows.
Tina, I’m totally with you. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. I’ll order what looks to be lovely online and it comes stuffed in a bag and the fabric is so cheap. I found it didn’t fit me properly and wanted my money back. The company offered to send other sizes with free shipping which I knew wouldn’t work. They told me to keep the dress but withheld a hefty amount. So I’m stuck with a dress I’ll never wear and out nearly 70% of my money! So discouraging!
Tina, I am with you on all of this! It’s so frustrating.The quality just isn’t there anymore, shipping is an absolute disaster, and I bemoan the lack of sleeve options for more mature arms. (Even when you exercise regularly, at the end of the day, mature skin is mature skin!). If one is lucky enough to find a skilled seamstress who can make clothes for you, and they are of a fine quality fabric, you are blessed, indeed!
You are absolutely correct. I spent 40 plus years in the fashion industry.
My biggest horror is the arrival of my treasured purchase in a flimsy plastic bag. My responsibilities included such things and I would have been let go if I had allowed such things.
The Merchant Princes are gone and so are the niceties associated with the industry. It breaks my heart.
I find buying a beautiful long skirt and a rather pricey gorgeous top is the answer. Find it easy and always flattering. I think this look is also more appropriate for an older woman.
Lots to be said about “every woman should have a little black dress in her closet”. One for a Funeral and a fancy evening dress, just in case. Say no more, you are right, the quality is gone and sleeves are a must for me too!
The department stores leave alot to be desired in terms of stock and customer service. The staff is under alot of pressure and they do not get the support they need from corporate. The independent privately owned stores are few and far between….. BUT I had the most amazing experience at A Little Something White in Darien Connecticut, which is actually about 20 min from White Plains NM…..They have a terrific selection of all the best designer dresses for everyone connected to an event…My son was married last year and because of my unusual size I even went out for a fitting to the designer who is out on Long Island …….who messed up…….. The store made sure to make everything right, calling in an entire team of expert seamstresses and completed my dress even better than the designer had designed it. I highly recommend them for your next event! They are privately owned and TOOK RESPONSIBILITY. so unusual in this day and age.
You are totally correct….the quality of the fabric is so dismal as well as the craftmanship. I like natural fabrics like cotton,wool, silk and cashmere…good luck finding anything that will last more than one season. I hope you have fun at the wedding!
Sooooooo sadly true! I too received an evening dress in a plastic bag- such a disappointing trend. I always shop online- a waste of time trying to shop in stores. So sad. I miss department stores!
I too have been on the look out for a dress for a wedding for the end of August. I agree totally with you on every aspect, especially the lack of dresses with a sleeve. It has been so very disappointing. I want to love the dress and feel good in it when spending the amount of money they asking for these dresses. You are right, the quality is just not there anymore. So the search is still on.
This happened to me exactly as you described—especially the Neiman Marcus experience. In fact, one of the young women working there even suggested another store I might try.
I was also under a time constraint and needed a store that could handle alterations. Where we live, finding someone with the skills to alter these kinds of complicated garments is nearly impossible. Having a dress made wasn’t really an option either, both because of our location and the cost. I just don’t feel the need to spend several thousand dollars for a dressy event.
And yes—finding dresses with sleeves feels almost impossible.
It seems to me that quality has significantly diminished in everything not just clothes but in appliances, etc…..It is surely sad and disappointing. And agree on the dress selection! Hard to find anything!!!! Happy you like your ‘back up!” 🙂
I, too, have been unpleasantly surprised to receive a relatively expensive garment wadded up in a bag. You are so right about the erosion of quality. I used to love shopping, but now stores have such limited stock that they show you a size 0 and offer to have it shipped in your size. How can I know if I even like it if I can’t try it on? My solution, which wouldn’t have worked in your case with time constraints, is vintage couture from TRR. Hope Montana was lovely!
Try keeping beautiful printed or plain colored taffeta skirts with either matching belts or matching sashes on hand then for Montana put it with a long sleeved crew necked sweater. Depending on colors of the skirt you can also use either a gold or sliver belt and shoes. and an unusual clutch or evening bag. Top it off with beautiful Pearls with matching earrings, Wrap the skirt and sweater in cleaners plastic wrap for traveling in your suitcase, By keeping it simple but using classic , stunning elegant fabrics you will be well dressed to suit the occasion and you are traveling on a plane..The skirt can also be a Pencil skirt but add a matching or contrast sash..You have to have a dressmaker tailor the skirts for you but I used to keep basics on hand in the classic colors I also used to use unusal jewelry and let it be the star against all the basic skirt and sweater. You could not use a sash at the waist but a long matching sash to wear around your shoulders Just put the sweater over the top of the skirt. Its a beautiful classic but stunning look and you will be comfortable Kitten slingback heels look good with this.. The sheath evening skirt is very easy to pack in the plastic even if its silk or taffeta and you can also have that skirt made in Summer fabrics. I am now in my late 80s but i was one of the very first Image Consulants for fortune 300 and 500 complanies espcially with their top executives and wives..My rule is keep the clothing simple based on the classics….Its not boring its elegant..
I agree totally. Living in a rural area makes me almost dependent the internet. I have started making a few things for myself, but finding the right fabric is another problem. The sleeves problem is yet, another thing, but sleeves can be added to almost any dress, especially if it is black. I am tall and that adds another problem. Finding a knee length dress is almost impossible. At 75, not many people will notice what I am wearing. A friends son-in-law said once that no one cares what my age group looks like!
So , what I do is buy a dress I happen to see that I love , ( when actually not shopping for anything in particular ) . It’s one of those things you say in your head …… oh that’s gorgeous ; perfect for a dressy occasion . Yes it hangs in my wardrobe to admire & before you know it there’s that exact occasion I can wear it to. No stress.!!!
And yes if you do procrastinate for that special outfit , odds are you do NOT find what you’re looking for !
At Christmas head out to the stores & there are so many lovely outfits ready for that New Years Eve party. You may have no intention of attending or wearing such a dressy outfit for New Years . But now you have a perfect dress for another time thru the year.
I do agree with you too about quality . A big price tag should command a beautifully made garment.
I used to love shopping sometimes all day. Often returning home with enough purchases that I would need help carrying in the bags. I would gleefully show my husband all the fabulous items. He once told me we needed to buy stock in the store. Currently I come home from shopping with little or no purchases. Even crying I’m so frustrated at the lack of options. I have a few trusted clothing lines. The worst part for me is that you pay so much for clothing that is not quality for the price because of so few options.
Agree that clothing quality has diminished but also fashion is geared to the younger set. At 77, it’s almost impossible to find a cocktail dress that isn’t low cut and very short, and sleeveless.
Maybe you should shop your own closet! You have beautiful gowns and dresses!
Last week when Princess Anne attended her sons wedding, she wore the same hat and jacket that she wore the day he was christened. His sister wore her periwinkle dress she wore eight years ago at another wedding. Even Princess Kate has worn her beautiful wardrobe repeatedly over her years as a royal. I think you could pull something beautiful and maybe change it ip with accessories, a wrap, scarf and new jewelry you have been selling!
I attended a formal wedding in January. I wore my MOG dress which was 18 years old. It was turquoise silk and the dress pattern was one I designed back then. I was so happy to wear this dress again!
I have found two things that work for me – 1. I always buy when I see something I love, no matter if I need it or not. I always have told my daughters that they need to have “a big girl wardrobe”, which means you always have something for every occasion and you never have to be searching for something at the last minute. And 2. I am a plus size woman and I want to look glamorous in an evening gown and not like someone’s grandmother, so I had all my ball gowns made by an extraordinary seamstress. I used to live in an area that had galas almost every weekend during “season”, so I usually had a rotating wardrobe of around 15 ballgowns. Every season, I would go the city and buy fabulous fabrics and have three or so new gowns made. They looked beautifully and fit perfectly. I also would have glorious, sumptuous coordinating wraps made for each one.
I feel your pain! I live 20 minutes north of the Golden Gate Bridge and not only can I not find anything for women of a certain age but we don’t have any stores! They have all left! Even Macy’s left. We do have a Nordstrom’s but I don’t know who buy’s for them or display’s their thing’s but I never see anything I would have. I don’t even bother going there anymore. All the good stores in San Francisco have closed. My Grandmother was a Taylor and I used to sew every thing I wore so I know quality. That is a thing of the past as well. Sad state of affairs. Hope your back up dress work’s for you!
I totally agree with what has been said. Being a short, trim 88 year old who loves beautiful fabrics, well designed and well made clothes,I am totally frustrated ! I certainly need sleeves and below the knee length ! I really miss the OLD Saks, Lord and Taylor, Neiman Marcus, etc and the now defunct Garfinkels, Bonwit, I Magnin, to name a few. The plastic bag for shipping is really irritating……..opening them is a challenge.
As you can imagine, I remember when shopping was a pleasant experience ( as was having lunch in the lovely in house tea room / restaurant )
I agree with you 100%. I searched for months for a dress for a fancy wedding in Pennsylvania and returned everyone I ordered on line. I live in Charlotte, NC and we used to have beautiful small shops with quality clothes. Quality is gone, no sleeves, styles are all the peasant look, every one is coping everyone else. . Everything is cheap material and imported. I went shopping in my closet and wore something I owned for years. Just don’t know what the answer is to this problem. I lived in Paris for 5 years and the clothes were just beautiful and well made. There were wonderful little shops on side streets where you could buy beautiful well designed and quality clothes. I still find them in my closet and wear them again and again. I know many of the small shops were put out of business when they started to import clothes from China. I just don’t see this problem getting resolved in the near future. I do like one of your reader’s suggetions of a beautiful skirt and top. I think Carolina Herrerra always seems to wear that look. Thanks for sharing this topic.
Totally agree, have been looking for a dress for my nieces wedding for months. Short sleeves are hard to find and so is something for someone who not 25 nor
105!!!
Tina…I completely understand, it was like the exact experience I am having to the T.
I am so happy to know it isn’t just me. What has happened to beautifully designed dresses that are well made.
It’s a nightmare any longer finding a dress with sleeves as well.
I ordered 5 dresses, all came wrinkled, stuffed in small bags…and all from high end stores. So disappointing! Your story could have been mine. I am now dithering between 2 that I am not totally happy with, but have grown tired of dealing with it. Thanks for sharing!!
My niece is getting married in July, she wanted everyone to wear gowns!!! The gowns are awful, cheap material and not flattering at all. I found one at Lilly , not great but I had to settle. It’s terrible the selection!!!
I agree, the fabrics are cheap. And I don’t show my arms either! I have wrinkles from sun, lack of collagen, estrogen. I would rather have surgery for that (if they do that, sure they do) then have a face lift. Hard to find elbow length sleeves, and I’m also petite so shopping is very frustrating and I also do not like on line shopping.
Quality clothing is hard to find. But here’s a priceless tip: hire a stylist. They will shop for you, plus they know of new designers, shops, and websites. A good stylist knows what colors and styles will flatter you.
Completely agree! Once a pleasure and joy for many women, shopping has become more of a checklist item because 1. the trend toward disposable quality, 2. online sales hurting in person retail, 3. “smash and grab” going unpunished in big cities. What department store would stay when they are robbed in broad daylight and the thieves are not punished, encouraging them to steal again and again. (Michigan Avenue in Chicago is ruined because of #3. Mrs. Potter Palmer would roll over in her grave if she could see what Michigan Avenue looks like today. I cannot imagine what is going to become of New York with the direction their governance is taking.)
Totally agree!! So many things have been so “dumbed down”. People shopping in slippers. I had a Pharmaceutical Rep in my office the other day wearing flip flops. It’s hard to dress with such little options. Not everyone has a budget for Carolina Herrera.
The major department stores have nothing. I have the exact same experience. I live in Bergen County, NJ. and I have given up looking in the stores. I find most of my clothes through instagram from an Ad or an influencer- Mary Orton, Stacie Flinner… I hope the pendulum swings back to people dressing well and designers providing the garments. As Tom Ford said “Dressing well is form of good manners”
I understand. I have the additional problem of being petite. A lot of stores no longer carry petite. I have a few baby showers coming up. I started shopping early. Ordered 4 dresses from a reputable store. So excited when the bag arrived and then opened it. A black sweatshirt not even in my size. Called the store they have no idea where my dresses went and on top of that out of my size now. 4 dresses out of stock. So now baby showers are two weeks away and I have no dress. I hate shopping on line but it’s my project this weekend. Hopefully something will arrive that I like.
Fabric is so cheap made and the sewing of outfits is even worse. This all started when people thought online shopping was the way to shop… NOT! Brick and Mortar stores went out because of online. Back in the day I could go to Belk’s Department Store and have outfits tailored right there. I shop high quality Boutique stores or have seamstress make my clothes.
Yes, I completely understand your frustration. I think when it comes to ordering on line it would be best to order every day clothing. For special occasion dresses find a good tailor and pick out the fabric you love and design what flatters your body best. Going shopping now in person is a joke. The stores do not have the inventory anymore. And short on staff to help you.
Shopping has died in this country. In Europe there are wonderful stores and plenty of inventory. Here we import throw away clothes and thank god I’ve held onto my old clothes. I’ve have great fabrics altered and remade to fit my older body.
Is it too much trouble to ship things in a cardboard box? Many packages are now sent through the USPS. To avoid walking the package to the door, they wad up the flimsy bag and shove it into the mailbox.
Totally agree with your experience. There is no selection in stores anymore. And when you buy on line the presentation thrown into a bag is terrible. We girls of a certain age demand sleeves!
This post REALLY resonated with me. We have a huge family so we can count on 2-3 weddings a year from our families alone. Dept stores are becoming dinosaurs, I give them another few years.As a result, their stock and purchasing power has gone way down. Not even worth going to. I now tend to shop with a designer that I like, I recently bought two dress from Emilia Wickstead in England (beautiful well made and pricey) but gowns I will own and wear forever. Teri Jon is another that is fairly reasonable and classy. I don’t go to store/boutiques any more because its such a waste of time, they carry so little. I shop from my computer directly on the designers websites. Maybe you can do another post on designers you do like and tell us about the dress you ended up keeping. I. know you will look just beautiful!
Totally! Totally! ….agree, Tina! I JUST had this conversation with a gal pal over dinner LAST NITE!!!
We both miss the great NYC stores…and have no place to shop. Forget department stores. Not only no product.
The experience is gone…Forget good quality. Or clothes for women. Everything is size 0. Or size 2. And made for young bodies.
I personally don’t like stylists, as then everything is filtered through their eyes; and you have great taste! They are bound to miss something….I have taken to “collecting” a few things, here and there, when I am out and about. Not necessarily needing them at that moment; but knowing they will come in “handy” for an occasion, and so far that has worked for me. I live in Manhattan and will shop the boutiques along Madison Avenue when I am out walking. Getting in steps…and replenishing my closet at the same time on a beautiful day is good for body and soul and is totally relaxing and energizing. Salespeople are lovely and purchases are wrapped exquisitely. I recommend a day along Madison 3 or 4 times a year (I like to do it alone) for both special occasion clothes and a few other replenishments to one’s wardrobe….Plus a divine lunch or dinner or a cocktail and canapes, it is a perfect way to spend a day! And it gives you so many new ideas and refreshes mind, body and spirit, as well as your wardrobe!
Keep it simple! Keep special pieces, update accessories. I have a pair of black crepe palazzo pants, a lavender lurex form fitting sweater worn with a wide satin belt with a round rhinestone buckle that has been the best “go to attire for a variety of social events. The top is changed to accommodate the season and formality of the event. A beaded rust and black silk top works well with a black satin knee-length skirt. Variations in skirts, pants and tops always worked for me. I have never owned a ballgown. There is no need to overthink, I dress to suit my own taste and level of comfort. I am 84 and a former public relations executive.
I’m a last min girl too. I have given up changing. I buy in advance for my three young grandgirls, but me? Eleventh hour gal!
You are right. Terrible quality and horrid packaging and sleeves have taken a vacay. The most you will get is a tiny cap sleeve so carry a pashmina over your arms like a stole!
I have found that if you are in an area with quality bridal shops, often some good dresses can be found there. These shops are not just for brides and bridesmaids and mothers of the bride. Often lots of evening wear not to be found in other places.
You’re right on target with everything. I’ve had to purchase several new dressy outfits recently, and finding something with sleeves is almost impossible. How crazy is that?? Quality has also taken a nosedive. As for the lack of merchandise in brick and mortar stores, I believe we can thank online shopping for that. It has changed retail and not necessarily for the better.
YES, you are so right about the absence of sleeves in evening wear. Even the bridal gowns. Not to be too snarky, but a lot of brides wear these strapless numbers and simply do not have the arms for it. I guess they think they look good, even sexy, in their strapless gown. Another thing, maybe I am too old, but when I was getting married (years ago), no one was going for “sexy” in their bridal gown. Ugh.
I had the same frustration last year looking for something to wear to my nephew’s wedding. I was lucky enough to have a friend recommend a vintage designer resale shop where I found the most incredible dress and Chanel jacket. A tailor they connected me to made the pieces look like they were custom made for me. I may be done shopping usual retail after this
My best friends daughter has a great shop in Darien called Helen Ainson. She has some of the most beautiful gowns I have ever seen. And yes now as we are getting older we need sleeves! Priscilla
OMG! I can relate! I’m convinced the clothing design world is over as we baby boomers know it. It is nearly impossible to find a beautiful dress, day or evening wear, for a 65 year old woman to wear. I can’t count how many times I look for dresses online and don’t find one, not one, that I want to purchase. Mini dresses are everywhere, so the designers must be targeting the younger buyers, but this is ridiculous. I keep thinking how challenging it is to find classic clothing just to wear every day, but an outfit for an event is truly frustrating to find, really ruins the anticipation of the event.
I find it distressing that so many dresses are sleeveless these days. In my younger days, my arms were great looking. Now, as an older woman, showing my arms is not something I’m comfortable with. I really wish designers would put out dresses with sleeves, either full or 3/4. Even tee shirts have sleeves that are too short. It’s ridiculously hard finding shirts with a longer sleeve. I live in the South, and wearing sleeveless would be great, but I’m just not comfortable.
I shop estate sales and find clothes I love ,for, as my mom would say, “a little bit of nothing.” We live in an area where there are high-end ones regularly, and I buy clothes I love that would work for various kinds of special occasions, and which are timeless styles. When an occasion comes up, I simply shop my own collection of various lengths of upscale dresses
You are absolutely correct in your assessment of available beautiful dresses…and lack of sleeves! For several years I have run into the same issue and realized I must start a search really year round if I need anything for special occasions. Ugh…Not sure if it is our age…or just the clothes over all, have not been the quality and available like they were years ago. I think we have become way too casual and sloppy!!!
I had a wedding this past weekend and searched and searched online and also the stores that you mentioned. I feel exactly the same way. The quality, sizing and selection are simply not there but the prices are way out of line for what they are trying to sell!
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Hi friends and happy Friday, another episode of Let’s Talk, and boy do I feel passionately about this one. I have a feeling it’s going to resonate with a lot of you, so I’m genuinely curious to hear your thoughts. Before I begin, let me acknowledge the obvious: I know this is the definition of a first-world problem, and I am absolutely not asking for sympathy. Trust me, I realize there are far bigger things to worry about.
That said, the experience got me thinking, and I’m genuinely curious whether I’m alone in feeling this way or if others have noticed the same thing.
We have a wedding in Montana next week, and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to get something new. Mind you, I’ve known about this wedding for months. Yet for some strange, unexplained reason, I often tend to wait until the last minute for these things. Can anyone explain why we do this to ourselves or is there a name for this?
I got so caught up with my design project, house decisions, then shower preparations, then throw in getting a major migraine which left me practically debilitated for a few days and before I knew it, shopping for a dress had moved from “I’ll get to it” to “I need something immediately.” My list of things to do felt like a mile long.
Like many of us, I started out online. I ordered six dresses, hoping one would be “the one.” One surprise was that one of the dresses (not a cheap dress mind you) arrived in a bag. Yes, a plastic bag not even wrapped in tissue! I was shocked. It sure took points off from liking the dress even before I opened it (turns out I didn’t love it anyway) One was nice enough to keep as a backup, and another I absolutely loved but I needed another size. I got in touch immediately and even paid for expedited shipping, convinced I had solved the problem. The box arrived, I opened it with excitement, and……… they had sent the wrong dress in the wrong size. When I call them, I find out they are sold o t of the dress I wanted in all sizes! Seven days before our trip.
One other thing I noticed even from the higher end designers, when I would see a dress I liked (even if it was more than I wanted to spend) they didn’t even have sizes. Many of them had a 0 or 2 and that was it. That should be my biggest problem:) Then I read that due to fast fashion, many higher end labels are not producing the same quantities that they once did. Somewhat explains the sparse offerings.
At that point, I was so frustrated and looking for something under pressure is no fun, so I decided to devote an entire day to shopping in person (do not literally remember the last time I did this)! I left no stone unturned. Local boutiques, department stores, specialty stores, even an extra 45-minute drive to another Neiman Marcus. And here’s what shocked me.
Out of 12 stores, I did not find a single dress that I wanted to buy.
Not one.
I was honestly stunned by how little selection there was and, more importantly, by the quality. I remember walking into Neiman Marcus years ago and seeing beautiful clothes everywhere. Now? I was in and out of the evening wear department in literally 2 minutes flat (I also am a professional canvasser, I can walk in and size things up fast). Nordstroms and Bloomingdales felt like more of the same, the selection at Nordstreom was especially dismal. Most of what I saw felt poorly made, low quality and was cheap looking.
While I was at Neiman Marcus in White Plains, I looked up nearby boutiques that carried eveningwear. One sounded somewhat promising based on the conversation I had with the owner over the phone. The only problem was that I was running short on time, and it was located downtown. If you’ve ever tried finding a parking spot there, you know it’s about as likely as hitting the lottery.
I happened to notice a large hotel nearby, so I pulled in at lightning speed and asked the valet if I could leave my car for 15 minutes. Thankfully, he was kind enough to oblige.
I practically sprinted to the store. The owner had thoughtfully pulled a few dresses for me to try, and while I appreciated the effort, I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I really didn’t care for any of them, at first glance, I knew it was a waste. Beyond being the wrong colors, the quality just wasn’t there, they looked almost “polyester-ish” And these were not inexpensive dresses.
That was the moment it really hit me.
Quality simply isn’t what it used to be.
My mom used to say this all the time and I heard her voice in my head. I mean, how hard is to design a beautiful, well made dress in a rich elegant fabric? In my mind, I knew exactly what I wanted. In fact, I could have designed five dresses on the spot that I would have been doing backflips over had I found them.
The other thing I noticed? Where have all the sleeves gone?
I wanted a gown with sleeves—not only because Montana has been very cool, but because I know plenty of women, myself included, who prefer a little arm coverage. Arms took a little extended vacation over the winter:) Yet finding a beautiful gown with sleeves felt nearly impossible.
The truth is, this isn’t entirely new. It’s been happening for a while, but it feels like it’s gotten significantly worse.
Over the years, I’ve had a few gowns made by a wonderfully talented local Italian woman who was once a seamstress for Oscar de la Renta back in its heyday. She has helped me out more than once, but she’s now in her 80s and understandably doesn’t do much sewing anymore. Believe me, if there had been enough time, I would have been knocking on her door begging for an emergency dress!
By the time all of this unfolded, however, there simply wasn’t enough time.
So I drove home that evening, starving because I hadn’t even stopped to eat, exhausted from a full day of looking and not finding, and feeling pretty defeated that I hadn’t found a single contender.
Then something funny happened.
The dress that had been designated as the “backup” suddenly started looking a whole lot better.
Was it my dream dress? No.
But it was a beautiful color, it fit well, and at that point, that was more than enough. In fact, after the day I had, its value quadrupled in my eyes!
Lesson learned. Next time, I won’t wait until the last minute. I may even consider designing and making my own dress. And perhaps it’s also time to show my arms a little more attention before next wedding season!
Now it’s your turn.
Am I the only one who feels this way? Have you noticed a decline in the quality and selection of clothing over the years? Do you struggle to find special-occasion dresses that feel beautiful, well-made, and worth the price?
And two more questions…
Where on earth are all the sleeves? (To be fair, if I was wanting to look for something sleeveless, I would have had a lot more options)
Can dept stores please not ship expensive items in a flimsy plastic bag? It sure does take away from the experience and anticipation of getting something pretty!
I can’t wait to hear what you have to say.
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OK, its your turn to talk! Thanks for topping in, wishing you a wonderful day. Until next time….
Could not agree more! Need sleeves and no more “polyester” or microfiber!
Things are cheap, and mis sized. And not everyone want a strapless dress( unless you are 30!)
I just try to remember that the bride is the one that everybody needs to focus on, and that no one is going to really remember the dress I wore after the wedding. I’ve been to so many occasions that I just really wish I had pulled something out of my closet that I already owned instead of killing myself running around frantically looking for something and settling.
My son is getting married in nyc this Fall. I’ve known for a year and starting shopping last Fall. It has been a nightmare! Dresses shipped and returned. Going to Nordstroms and NM nothing! I went to a cheesy prom store and actually found something. Not my favorite but it’s flattering. Then onto the rehearsal. I wanted the Landman Dress! If you know you know. Totally sold out! I contacted the designer directly and they recut and sent it to me. They were beyond kind and accommodating. Maybe that’s the way to go. Contact the designer directly. I also shop for evening clothes year around. I rewear dresses and no one knows.
I’m looking for a September wedding…slim pickings is right! franki
Tina, I’m totally with you. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. I’ll order what looks to be lovely online and it comes stuffed in a bag and the fabric is so cheap. I found it didn’t fit me properly and wanted my money back. The company offered to send other sizes with free shipping which I knew wouldn’t work. They told me to keep the dress but withheld a hefty amount. So I’m stuck with a dress I’ll never wear and out nearly 70% of my money! So discouraging!
Tina, I am with you on all of this! It’s so frustrating.The quality just isn’t there anymore, shipping is an absolute disaster, and I bemoan the lack of sleeve options for more mature arms. (Even when you exercise regularly, at the end of the day, mature skin is mature skin!). If one is lucky enough to find a skilled seamstress who can make clothes for you, and they are of a fine quality fabric, you are blessed, indeed!
You are absolutely correct. I spent 40 plus years in the fashion industry.
My biggest horror is the arrival of my treasured purchase in a flimsy plastic bag. My responsibilities included such things and I would have been let go if I had allowed such things.
The Merchant Princes are gone and so are the niceties associated with the industry. It breaks my heart.
I agree with you about the high end stores being dismal… I now shop only the designers I love. My new favorite is Luciana Emilia.
I find buying a beautiful long skirt and a rather pricey gorgeous top is the answer. Find it easy and always flattering. I think this look is also more appropriate for an older woman.
Lots to be said about “every woman should have a little black dress in her closet”. One for a Funeral and a fancy evening dress, just in case. Say no more, you are right, the quality is gone and sleeves are a must for me too!
Agree on all points. Everything made in Asian countries looks cheaply made, in inexpensive fabrics. And is shipped in a plastic bag. Ughhhhhhh.
Ps When my son was married, I had my gown made. Worth it.
I agree with everything you said about quality of clothes, shopping experience, and no sleeves. Very discouraging.
Where are all the sleeves…and so many dresses are so short!
The department stores leave alot to be desired in terms of stock and customer service. The staff is under alot of pressure and they do not get the support they need from corporate. The independent privately owned stores are few and far between….. BUT I had the most amazing experience at A Little Something White in Darien Connecticut, which is actually about 20 min from White Plains NM…..They have a terrific selection of all the best designer dresses for everyone connected to an event…My son was married last year and because of my unusual size I even went out for a fitting to the designer who is out on Long Island …….who messed up…….. The store made sure to make everything right, calling in an entire team of expert seamstresses and completed my dress even better than the designer had designed it. I highly recommend them for your next event! They are privately owned and TOOK RESPONSIBILITY. so unusual in this day and age.
You are totally correct….the quality of the fabric is so dismal as well as the craftmanship. I like natural fabrics like cotton,wool, silk and cashmere…good luck finding anything that will last more than one season. I hope you have fun at the wedding!
So many strapless gowns….It drives me crazy!
There is almost no customer service any more! It is very sad. I don’t go into any box stores anymore. Buy almost everything on line
Sooooooo sadly true! I too received an evening dress in a plastic bag- such a disappointing trend. I always shop online- a waste of time trying to shop in stores. So sad. I miss department stores!
I too have been on the look out for a dress for a wedding for the end of August. I agree totally with you on every aspect, especially the lack of dresses with a sleeve. It has been so very disappointing. I want to love the dress and feel good in it when spending the amount of money they asking for these dresses. You are right, the quality is just not there anymore. So the search is still on.
Go shopping in your own closet. Do you have dresses from the past you haven’t worn in years?
This happened to me exactly as you described—especially the Neiman Marcus experience. In fact, one of the young women working there even suggested another store I might try.
I was also under a time constraint and needed a store that could handle alterations. Where we live, finding someone with the skills to alter these kinds of complicated garments is nearly impossible. Having a dress made wasn’t really an option either, both because of our location and the cost. I just don’t feel the need to spend several thousand dollars for a dressy event.
And yes—finding dresses with sleeves feels almost impossible.
It seems to me that quality has significantly diminished in everything not just clothes but in appliances, etc…..It is surely sad and disappointing. And agree on the dress selection! Hard to find anything!!!! Happy you like your ‘back up!” 🙂
I, too, have been unpleasantly surprised to receive a relatively expensive garment wadded up in a bag. You are so right about the erosion of quality. I used to love shopping, but now stores have such limited stock that they show you a size 0 and offer to have it shipped in your size. How can I know if I even like it if I can’t try it on? My solution, which wouldn’t have worked in your case with time constraints, is vintage couture from TRR. Hope Montana was lovely!
Beautiful, flowy silk pants and a statement silk blouse is a more creative option. Add a pretty belt and necklace and you’ll look stunning!
Try keeping beautiful printed or plain colored taffeta skirts with either matching belts or matching sashes on hand then for Montana put it with a long sleeved crew necked sweater. Depending on colors of the skirt you can also use either a gold or sliver belt and shoes. and an unusual clutch or evening bag. Top it off with beautiful Pearls with matching earrings, Wrap the skirt and sweater in cleaners plastic wrap for traveling in your suitcase, By keeping it simple but using classic , stunning elegant fabrics you will be well dressed to suit the occasion and you are traveling on a plane..The skirt can also be a Pencil skirt but add a matching or contrast sash..You have to have a dressmaker tailor the skirts for you but I used to keep basics on hand in the classic colors I also used to use unusal jewelry and let it be the star against all the basic skirt and sweater. You could not use a sash at the waist but a long matching sash to wear around your shoulders Just put the sweater over the top of the skirt. Its a beautiful classic but stunning look and you will be comfortable Kitten slingback heels look good with this.. The sheath evening skirt is very easy to pack in the plastic even if its silk or taffeta and you can also have that skirt made in Summer fabrics. I am now in my late 80s but i was one of the very first Image Consulants for fortune 300 and 500 complanies espcially with their top executives and wives..My rule is keep the clothing simple based on the classics….Its not boring its elegant..
Nancy, you are 100 percent correct. The curated ensemble is the only way to go today, unless you want custom.
Excellent suggestion!
We have no more dept stores in Santa Barbara, Ca.
They have made them into low income housing.
There is one upscale hotel with Chanel.
I agree totally. Living in a rural area makes me almost dependent the internet. I have started making a few things for myself, but finding the right fabric is another problem. The sleeves problem is yet, another thing, but sleeves can be added to almost any dress, especially if it is black. I am tall and that adds another problem. Finding a knee length dress is almost impossible. At 75, not many people will notice what I am wearing. A friends son-in-law said once that no one cares what my age group looks like!
So , what I do is buy a dress I happen to see that I love , ( when actually not shopping for anything in particular ) . It’s one of those things you say in your head …… oh that’s gorgeous ; perfect for a dressy occasion . Yes it hangs in my wardrobe to admire & before you know it there’s that exact occasion I can wear it to. No stress.!!!
And yes if you do procrastinate for that special outfit , odds are you do NOT find what you’re looking for !
At Christmas head out to the stores & there are so many lovely outfits ready for that New Years Eve party. You may have no intention of attending or wearing such a dressy outfit for New Years . But now you have a perfect dress for another time thru the year.
I do agree with you too about quality . A big price tag should command a beautifully made garment.
I agree with about buying when you see something you love but don’t necessarily have a function to wear it at the time.
I used to love shopping sometimes all day. Often returning home with enough purchases that I would need help carrying in the bags. I would gleefully show my husband all the fabulous items. He once told me we needed to buy stock in the store. Currently I come home from shopping with little or no purchases. Even crying I’m so frustrated at the lack of options. I have a few trusted clothing lines. The worst part for me is that you pay so much for clothing that is not quality for the price because of so few options.
Agree that clothing quality has diminished but also fashion is geared to the younger set. At 77, it’s almost impossible to find a cocktail dress that isn’t low cut and very short, and sleeveless.
Agree whole heartedly!! Quality is dismal, prices are high and I NEED SLEEVES!!
Maybe you should shop your own closet! You have beautiful gowns and dresses!
Last week when Princess Anne attended her sons wedding, she wore the same hat and jacket that she wore the day he was christened. His sister wore her periwinkle dress she wore eight years ago at another wedding. Even Princess Kate has worn her beautiful wardrobe repeatedly over her years as a royal. I think you could pull something beautiful and maybe change it ip with accessories, a wrap, scarf and new jewelry you have been selling!
I attended a formal wedding in January. I wore my MOG dress which was 18 years old. It was turquoise silk and the dress pattern was one I designed back then. I was so happy to wear this dress again!
I have found two things that work for me – 1. I always buy when I see something I love, no matter if I need it or not. I always have told my daughters that they need to have “a big girl wardrobe”, which means you always have something for every occasion and you never have to be searching for something at the last minute. And 2. I am a plus size woman and I want to look glamorous in an evening gown and not like someone’s grandmother, so I had all my ball gowns made by an extraordinary seamstress. I used to live in an area that had galas almost every weekend during “season”, so I usually had a rotating wardrobe of around 15 ballgowns. Every season, I would go the city and buy fabulous fabrics and have three or so new gowns made. They looked beautifully and fit perfectly. I also would have glorious, sumptuous coordinating wraps made for each one.
I feel your pain! I live 20 minutes north of the Golden Gate Bridge and not only can I not find anything for women of a certain age but we don’t have any stores! They have all left! Even Macy’s left. We do have a Nordstrom’s but I don’t know who buy’s for them or display’s their thing’s but I never see anything I would have. I don’t even bother going there anymore. All the good stores in San Francisco have closed. My Grandmother was a Taylor and I used to sew every thing I wore so I know quality. That is a thing of the past as well. Sad state of affairs. Hope your back up dress work’s for you!
I totally agree with what has been said. Being a short, trim 88 year old who loves beautiful fabrics, well designed and well made clothes,I am totally frustrated ! I certainly need sleeves and below the knee length ! I really miss the OLD Saks, Lord and Taylor, Neiman Marcus, etc and the now defunct Garfinkels, Bonwit, I Magnin, to name a few. The plastic bag for shipping is really irritating……..opening them is a challenge.
As you can imagine, I remember when shopping was a pleasant experience ( as was having lunch in the lovely in house tea room / restaurant )
I agree with you 100%. I searched for months for a dress for a fancy wedding in Pennsylvania and returned everyone I ordered on line. I live in Charlotte, NC and we used to have beautiful small shops with quality clothes. Quality is gone, no sleeves, styles are all the peasant look, every one is coping everyone else. . Everything is cheap material and imported. I went shopping in my closet and wore something I owned for years. Just don’t know what the answer is to this problem. I lived in Paris for 5 years and the clothes were just beautiful and well made. There were wonderful little shops on side streets where you could buy beautiful well designed and quality clothes. I still find them in my closet and wear them again and again. I know many of the small shops were put out of business when they started to import clothes from China. I just don’t see this problem getting resolved in the near future. I do like one of your reader’s suggetions of a beautiful skirt and top. I think Carolina Herrerra always seems to wear that look. Thanks for sharing this topic.
I completely agree! There is definitely a lack of quality and quantity. More women are shopping their closets and consignment stores!
Totally agree, have been looking for a dress for my nieces wedding for months. Short sleeves are hard to find and so is something for someone who not 25 nor
105!!!
Tina…I completely understand, it was like the exact experience I am having to the T.
I am so happy to know it isn’t just me. What has happened to beautifully designed dresses that are well made.
It’s a nightmare any longer finding a dress with sleeves as well.
I ordered 5 dresses, all came wrinkled, stuffed in small bags…and all from high end stores. So disappointing! Your story could have been mine. I am now dithering between 2 that I am not totally happy with, but have grown tired of dealing with it. Thanks for sharing!!
My niece is getting married in July, she wanted everyone to wear gowns!!! The gowns are awful, cheap material and not flattering at all. I found one at Lilly , not great but I had to settle. It’s terrible the selection!!!
I agree, the fabrics are cheap. And I don’t show my arms either! I have wrinkles from sun, lack of collagen, estrogen. I would rather have surgery for that (if they do that, sure they do) then have a face lift. Hard to find elbow length sleeves, and I’m also petite so shopping is very frustrating and I also do not like on line shopping.
Quality clothing is hard to find. But here’s a priceless tip: hire a stylist. They will shop for you, plus they know of new designers, shops, and websites. A good stylist knows what colors and styles will flatter you.
Completely agree! Once a pleasure and joy for many women, shopping has become more of a checklist item because 1. the trend toward disposable quality, 2. online sales hurting in person retail, 3. “smash and grab” going unpunished in big cities. What department store would stay when they are robbed in broad daylight and the thieves are not punished, encouraging them to steal again and again. (Michigan Avenue in Chicago is ruined because of #3. Mrs. Potter Palmer would roll over in her grave if she could see what Michigan Avenue looks like today. I cannot imagine what is going to become of New York with the direction their governance is taking.)
Totally agree!! So many things have been so “dumbed down”. People shopping in slippers. I had a Pharmaceutical Rep in my office the other day wearing flip flops. It’s hard to dress with such little options. Not everyone has a budget for Carolina Herrera.
The major department stores have nothing. I have the exact same experience. I live in Bergen County, NJ. and I have given up looking in the stores. I find most of my clothes through instagram from an Ad or an influencer- Mary Orton, Stacie Flinner… I hope the pendulum swings back to people dressing well and designers providing the garments. As Tom Ford said “Dressing well is form of good manners”
I understand. I have the additional problem of being petite. A lot of stores no longer carry petite. I have a few baby showers coming up. I started shopping early. Ordered 4 dresses from a reputable store. So excited when the bag arrived and then opened it. A black sweatshirt not even in my size. Called the store they have no idea where my dresses went and on top of that out of my size now. 4 dresses out of stock. So now baby showers are two weeks away and I have no dress. I hate shopping on line but it’s my project this weekend. Hopefully something will arrive that I like.
Fabric is so cheap made and the sewing of outfits is even worse. This all started when people thought online shopping was the way to shop… NOT! Brick and Mortar stores went out because of online. Back in the day I could go to Belk’s Department Store and have outfits tailored right there. I shop high quality Boutique stores or have seamstress make my clothes.
Yes, I completely understand your frustration. I think when it comes to ordering on line it would be best to order every day clothing. For special occasion dresses find a good tailor and pick out the fabric you love and design what flatters your body best. Going shopping now in person is a joke. The stores do not have the inventory anymore. And short on staff to help you.
Shopping has died in this country. In Europe there are wonderful stores and plenty of inventory. Here we import throw away clothes and thank god I’ve held onto my old clothes. I’ve have great fabrics altered and remade to fit my older body.
Is it too much trouble to ship things in a cardboard box? Many packages are now sent through the USPS. To avoid walking the package to the door, they wad up the flimsy bag and shove it into the mailbox.
Totally agree with your experience. There is no selection in stores anymore. And when you buy on line the presentation thrown into a bag is terrible. We girls of a certain age demand sleeves!
This post REALLY resonated with me. We have a huge family so we can count on 2-3 weddings a year from our families alone. Dept stores are becoming dinosaurs, I give them another few years.As a result, their stock and purchasing power has gone way down. Not even worth going to. I now tend to shop with a designer that I like, I recently bought two dress from Emilia Wickstead in England (beautiful well made and pricey) but gowns I will own and wear forever. Teri Jon is another that is fairly reasonable and classy. I don’t go to store/boutiques any more because its such a waste of time, they carry so little. I shop from my computer directly on the designers websites. Maybe you can do another post on designers you do like and tell us about the dress you ended up keeping. I. know you will look just beautiful!
Totally! Totally! ….agree, Tina! I JUST had this conversation with a gal pal over dinner LAST NITE!!!
We both miss the great NYC stores…and have no place to shop. Forget department stores. Not only no product.
The experience is gone…Forget good quality. Or clothes for women. Everything is size 0. Or size 2. And made for young bodies.
I personally don’t like stylists, as then everything is filtered through their eyes; and you have great taste! They are bound to miss something….I have taken to “collecting” a few things, here and there, when I am out and about. Not necessarily needing them at that moment; but knowing they will come in “handy” for an occasion, and so far that has worked for me. I live in Manhattan and will shop the boutiques along Madison Avenue when I am out walking. Getting in steps…and replenishing my closet at the same time on a beautiful day is good for body and soul and is totally relaxing and energizing. Salespeople are lovely and purchases are wrapped exquisitely. I recommend a day along Madison 3 or 4 times a year (I like to do it alone) for both special occasion clothes and a few other replenishments to one’s wardrobe….Plus a divine lunch or dinner or a cocktail and canapes, it is a perfect way to spend a day! And it gives you so many new ideas and refreshes mind, body and spirit, as well as your wardrobe!
PS, And they always have a sale rack…where I head first….
Keep it simple! Keep special pieces, update accessories. I have a pair of black crepe palazzo pants, a lavender lurex form fitting sweater worn with a wide satin belt with a round rhinestone buckle that has been the best “go to attire for a variety of social events. The top is changed to accommodate the season and formality of the event. A beaded rust and black silk top works well with a black satin knee-length skirt. Variations in skirts, pants and tops always worked for me. I have never owned a ballgown. There is no need to overthink, I dress to suit my own taste and level of comfort. I am 84 and a former public relations executive.
I’m a last min girl too. I have given up changing. I buy in advance for my three young grandgirls, but me? Eleventh hour gal!
You are right. Terrible quality and horrid packaging and sleeves have taken a vacay. The most you will get is a tiny cap sleeve so carry a pashmina over your arms like a stole!
I have found that if you are in an area with quality bridal shops, often some good dresses can be found there. These shops are not just for brides and bridesmaids and mothers of the bride. Often lots of evening wear not to be found in other places.
You’re right on target with everything. I’ve had to purchase several new dressy outfits recently, and finding something with sleeves is almost impossible. How crazy is that?? Quality has also taken a nosedive. As for the lack of merchandise in brick and mortar stores, I believe we can thank online shopping for that. It has changed retail and not necessarily for the better.
YES, you are so right about the absence of sleeves in evening wear. Even the bridal gowns. Not to be too snarky, but a lot of brides wear these strapless numbers and simply do not have the arms for it. I guess they think they look good, even sexy, in their strapless gown. Another thing, maybe I am too old, but when I was getting married (years ago), no one was going for “sexy” in their bridal gown. Ugh.
I had the same frustration last year looking for something to wear to my nephew’s wedding. I was lucky enough to have a friend recommend a vintage designer resale shop where I found the most incredible dress and Chanel jacket. A tailor they connected me to made the pieces look like they were custom made for me. I may be done shopping usual retail after this
My best friends daughter has a great shop in Darien called Helen Ainson. She has some of the most beautiful gowns I have ever seen. And yes now as we are getting older we need sleeves! Priscilla
OMG! I can relate! I’m convinced the clothing design world is over as we baby boomers know it. It is nearly impossible to find a beautiful dress, day or evening wear, for a 65 year old woman to wear. I can’t count how many times I look for dresses online and don’t find one, not one, that I want to purchase. Mini dresses are everywhere, so the designers must be targeting the younger buyers, but this is ridiculous. I keep thinking how challenging it is to find classic clothing just to wear every day, but an outfit for an event is truly frustrating to find, really ruins the anticipation of the event.
I find it distressing that so many dresses are sleeveless these days. In my younger days, my arms were great looking. Now, as an older woman, showing my arms is not something I’m comfortable with. I really wish designers would put out dresses with sleeves, either full or 3/4. Even tee shirts have sleeves that are too short. It’s ridiculously hard finding shirts with a longer sleeve. I live in the South, and wearing sleeveless would be great, but I’m just not comfortable.
I shop estate sales and find clothes I love ,for, as my mom would say, “a little bit of nothing.” We live in an area where there are high-end ones regularly, and I buy clothes I love that would work for various kinds of special occasions, and which are timeless styles. When an occasion comes up, I simply shop my own collection of various lengths of upscale dresses
You are absolutely correct in your assessment of available beautiful dresses…and lack of sleeves! For several years I have run into the same issue and realized I must start a search really year round if I need anything for special occasions. Ugh…Not sure if it is our age…or just the clothes over all, have not been the quality and available like they were years ago. I think we have become way too casual and sloppy!!!
I had a wedding this past weekend and searched and searched online and also the stores that you mentioned. I feel exactly the same way. The quality, sizing and selection are simply not there but the prices are way out of line for what they are trying to sell!