I hope you’re having a wonderful week and that everyone had a fantastic holiday weekend. I’m continuing with my Let’s Talk series—so many of you have shared how much you’re enjoying it, and I have to say, I am too. It’s beginning to feel like a bit of a personal diary, where I can open up about various topics and then hand the mic to you.
Recently, I came across an Instagram post that struck a deep chord. I saved it and have read over it several times Every single sentence resonated—it was as if I had written it myself (minus the part about being 80!).
It reflected so beautifully on the days when life was loud and busy, with children underfoot and schedules that felt never-ending. It was chaotic, yes—but also incredibly rich and fulfilling. And even in the moment, I knew how lucky I was. Here is that post, I can’t read it without getting teary eyed-
It brought me right back to when my kids were young (and the “mom” part really hit me) . We started our family early—I was just 22 when my oldest son was born—and with the age spread between my kids, I spent a good long stretch in that season of motherhood. I wouldn’t trade those years for anything. I feel so deeply grateful that I was able to be a full-time mother, and I know that’s a privilege not everyone has—or even wants. But for me, it was a gift.
All of this made me wonder:If you could go back to one decade of your life, which would it be? For me, I think it would be my 30s.
I say my 30s because I was still quite young, raising three active boys and fully immersed in motherhood. We were in the thick of it—endless practices, school concerts, out-of-town tournaments—and I truly loved every minute. I cherished every aspect of their childhood and felt so lucky to have a front-row seat for all of it.
Socially, life was busy. We had a large circle of friends, lots of parties and get-togethers. Over time, I’ve definitely shrunk my circle—something my mother always said would happen. Quality over quantity, she used to say, and she was right. My circle may be smaller now, but it’s filled with truly exceptional friends. And for that, I feel fortunate.
I had endless amounts of energy, there wasn’t a thing I didn’t’ feel like I could not do. I got on my kids skateboard, practiced lacrosse and basketball with them, and even did cartwheels to prove I could. Not a single ache to worry about! It was rare to hear of someone getting seriously ill (cancer, chronic illness,etc) Now I feel every time I turn around, I am hearing of someone being stricken with something (aging relatives and too often, my own contemporaries) Looking back, you feel innocently invinsible, like it will never change.
Occasionally I will come across an article of clothing from “that decade of life” and look at it and think did I really fit into that! Never thought twice about having a closet of size 4’s. Its wild how hindsight works isn’t it! I nitpicked back then if I was having a bad hair day but looking at those same photos I see glowing skin, youthful (and sometimes naive confidence) and a taut body that could wear anything.
In my 30’s we had just built our first home, life felt exciting, non stop and full, and I’ll always remember my 30s as a decade of joy, purpose, and connection.It was a home where days were full and endless, hordes of kids friends bounced in and out, the tapping of the basketball was never ending, and sports equipment strewn about was commonplace. Those sounds are missed.
And then there’s the social media factor, which warrants its very own post. How I wish my kids could experience that era just for a day or two. When we left for vacations that was it- no contact of any kind for a week. We anticipated coming up and reconnecting with everyone, running to CVS to develop our pictures and easing back into real life. No distractions. when we were together, we were together. And today, families don’t get that privilege. Feel so fortunate we got to experience that. (saving this subject for another post)
Looking back, another big difference in who I was then versus now is how little anxiety I had. I just did things—without overthinking, without second-guessing. I lived in the moment. These days, I’m more of a planner, a bit more OCD, and definitely more anxiety-prone. Maybe because life was just so full back then I didn’t have time to be anxious. I got up and just allowed the day to unfold, they were always full and somehow things worked out as they were meant to be. I wouldn’t mind a week or two of not having anxiety, and have to admit its rearing its ugly head now that Phillip is in the picture! Yes, the 30’s were a great decade, and of course I realize and appreciate it now more than ever. At the same time, how lucky Iwas to have them.
If I’m really lucky, one day I’ll write a post saying this current decade is my favorite. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Now it’s your turn—what was your favorite decade, and why? Let’s talk.
Wishing everyone a wonderful day. Until next time……
Oh my! That is bittersweet and brought tears to my eyes! We don’t realize, as young mothers, that the journey is the destination! I’d like to wake up and have one more day of chaos with those sweet little kids, now beautiful adults!
Your post is spot on! I’m 81-look in the mirror- wow, yes I’m 81! Every morning I sit with my coffee and thank God for my blessed life. Love following your blog! It starts my morning-Thank You!
I so miss the years when they were all home and we could all sit around the table eating dinner together. I think about that often. I guess this is why being a grandparent is so sweet. It must bring a lot of wonderful memories and moments back 🙂
Ditto to all you said and feel.
Life was wonderful without cellphones, in my opinion.
We were focused on each other.
It was easy to stay connected with those you loved and cared about with no distractions.
Our world is so busy.
Time marches on, sadly.
Ecclesiastes 3 says there is a time/season for everything.
Love your posts!
I agree, my 30’s…we were in our first home, raising two boys, and my parents were both so eager to help if we needed anything , including a rare date night. We were a two income family, fortunately I worked during the day, and my husband at night so someone was always home with our boys. I too miss the neighbor kids eating us out of house and home. And was quickly reminded my boys did the same at their friends’ homes lol! Yes, I treasure the memories, but I am making new ones with our grandchildren 🥰
I live in a small town in west Tennessee , very different from where you live , however, what you wrote is exactly my story , too . I have always said the 30s was my favorite era of time for the very reasons you mentioned . I am 68 now . life is good but it is filled with many loved ones facing illnesses . I do have different worries for our 3 grandsons and the social media era . Our grandsons are home schooled by our daughter who was a teacher in the public school system . She quit her lifelong dream of teaching children for a lot of reasons that I won’t get into . We are grateful that she homeschools our grandchildren. They are far removed from social media . Parents and grandparents should watch the documentary “Social Dilemma “. So frightening . Thank you for your words ,
Feeling this acutely today. My son graduated from high school over the weekend and my daughter 8th grade. We are currently packing for a cross-country move away from the community we’ve lived in for all of our kids’ lives. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. I’m an older mom so very aware of the ticking of time. For Mother’s Day last year, I asked for a digital frame and a slideshow. My husband actually rigged up an IPad with a frame which has turned out to be better. We can add videos as well as photos so their little faces and voices pop up randomly, and it is a complete joy to see these snippets of our lives and get back those years for a brief moment.
Looking “back”…guess, my 40s…my 1st husband (high school classmate) died, suddenly…we were married 5 years. A “Knight in Shining Armor” rescued me & we’re on to #54. So, I started “momming” at 33 & 37 … my 40s were magic moments I never thought, for a time w/happen. Now, I’m 81 AND…the magic is STILL HAPPENING!! GO FIGURE…LIFE!! franki
ps… the “Look Back” nailed it… ❤️
83! Best years for me in young years = high school. I worked on weekends and summer days but wild and free. Next block, married, pre children. Taught kindergarten to children without behavior problems. It was a dream. We taught ABC ‘s, phonics, numbers, patterns + traditional history. So much fun. Then years with children, first houses, car pools, sports, dinner at the table every evening together, story time before bed. Life went on and I feel so fortunate to have been born into a good family, in the time I was born, and where. Grateful for all the adventures I have had.
I’m totally crying reading this. You captured all of it. I, too, have 3 sons and my favorite decade was my 30’s. I was lucky enough to be a full time stay at home mom and I loved every moment of it. I felt like you were describing my life… right down to the basketball and lacrosse (& I’d add tennis to mine). I used to always say that someday it would be quiet and I’d miss the chaos and now I’m there. It’s so interesting that my whole life I had visions of how it would be- high school, then college, then work a bit, get married, have kids, raise the kids, and then…. I never had a vision beyond that. My sons are early 20’s, late teen and so no marriages nor grandkids yet; I find myself in this strange void of a time. Wondering what exactly is my daily purpose. I find moments of prayer and dear friends have helped me when that anxiety creeps in.
Thank you for your posts- I always enjoy them.
Im 84 and I have been blessed all of my life, not that it hasn’t had i
It’s share of ups and downs. I loved raising my children and enjoyed every stage thru college. Our children were close in age, so it seemed like we did everything in double time and then in our early 40’s the college years started and suddenly it was just the two of us, and we embraced our time together. Those were wonderful years.
The decades with our grandchildren came next and we were fortunate enough to spend alot of time with them with and without their parents. Now we have grandchildren out of college, starting their own lives and adventures. The years with the nuclear family are precious and life will never be the same, but I had many decades in my life that have had their own special beauty.
When the children were young and I was having a bad mom day, my mother would tell me that “these are the best years of your life,” but
I’ve been truly blessed with many “best years of my life.”
All the comments are so much like my own memories. More hugs more kisses and oh to the lost energy fountain.
And time goes by so quickly , never a truer statement
If I had to pick an age, it would be 30. I had our 3 sons and our family was complete. I married at 20 and my husband was 24. I had my first son at 24, our second at 25 and our third at 30. Now I am 76 and my husband is 80. We have 3 amazing daughters-in-law. We have 7 Grandchildren ranging in ages 21 to 3. Five Granddaughters and two Grandsons. We are blessed with good health and have life long friends. Every day is a gift and I am thankful for each new day. We still live in the house we bought in 1971 for $28,000. Our cars cost more than our house did! We have added onto the house over the years and it still is home to us.
51 here and I already am longing for the days when my kiddos were young and under foot. Now they are 14, 16 and 17 and they are busy little humans forging their own paths.
We started later with our family- if I were to do it all again I would want to be in my late 30’s-early 40’s when they were all young(er). We are at a turning point, though we will have the two youngest around for a few more years, I already am longing for having that “full nest”. Lucky for you that you are such a young grandmother! Great and thought provoking post!
Feeling a bit melancholy while reading today’s post! The memories are vivid, etched in my mind ..a time I didn’t know would end so quickly, new seasons, one after another! I now, at 71, have all the time to pursue my sports and hobbies, which is wonderful, but I wish just for one day to go back to those hectic days of raising our children, and building a life for ourselves and family. I love to ask my grown son what were the highlights of his childhood. It brings a smile to my face to hear him reminiscing about the wonderful growing up years he had!
I’m at a work conference crying because I just read this blog. My 20’s. I miss the miracles of my 2nd decade.
I got married at 20. Graduated with nursing degree the next year. Enjoyed making my own money and decorating our tiny, run down home. Then 4 years of painful, devastating infertility. A test of my faith and relationships. I completed a master’s to become a Nurse Practitioner in an effort to fight depression. Then it happened. I was pregnant after 3 surgical procedures and debt. Gratitude for undeserved gift of motherhood. My life, hope, gratitude, and joy bloomed. A second baby completed our family 19 months after the first. We were busy! We loved it! I worked part time and played part time. Now my daughter is 27, married pharmacist who lives away from me. My son is a 25 year old account and lives with us-again.
We lost both of my in-laws and recently my father. I miss the sweet spot. Where we had each other, our kids and our parents. It was such a blessing, such joy! I would love to go back for a day. Just one day to have it all again!
Didn’t have kids until 41…so at 61 I have college twins at home this summer…and am loving it! Have loved the last 20 years too! I think I’m in ‘better’ shape now so I wouldn’t go back except to gain more years with my kids in general….and though, not my Blog, I love reading how many are 80+. What advice would you have for a mom who sometime in the next 3 to 5 years will be a total empty nester….totally dreading it! What memories should I definitely do now before the window closes? Young adults starting out always find time for parentally paid expensive vacations (think safari) please let us know about other things. Wonderful post and comments.
Crying over this post and I am just about to turn 55, on June 2nd! I have a 16 year old and 2 stepdaughters (9 and 11). So we still have quite a busy household. But I do feel like they are growing awfully fast and I do miss those days when they were young and we did almost everything together. Now they want to be with their friends via school and all their many activities. Its a different phase, but on the other hand- getting a lot more time to myself, going back to school, to get my Master’s degree! Get to play a lot more golf and tennis too. I think I would opt for my 40’s to go back to. But I am trying to embrace the here and now!
So I turned 62, 2 years ago and I have to say so far this might be my favorite decade. I got into really good shape, I have taken up golf and pickle ball. We bought a second home so we enjoy going back and forth and have therefore, expanded our social circle. Both my kids are in college. They are happy and well adjusted so we have piece of mind. My husband is semi retired, and we are loving this phase of our life. We have booked trips which we were saving to do when the twins left for college, life is good.
Loved this post (and love your blog), Tina. I rarely comment but this one really resonated with me.
What a powerful post! One that I will read over and over again. I imagine many Mothers can relate on some level.
I too was quite young when I had my children, but it was in my early 30s when I remember realizing that I needed to do some “tweeking”.
I had arrived at my children’s school one afternoon, and idled in the pickup line. My daughter skipped out first, with her hair in place, cascading down her back secured with a plaid bow. Her crisp white blouse was tucked neatly into her perfectly pressed pleated jumper.
My son came out next. His hair was crazy and his crisp white shirt was untucked and decorated with something he had for lunch. His belt was nowhere to be seen. He was my happy ragamuffin to be sure. I caught my reflection in the rearview mirror and it occurred to me that my face read “What happened to you today?”. I’m sure my sweet boy didn’t catch it, but I did, and promised in that moment that I would always greet my children with a smile. They always knew that I was so happy to see them.
As a busy Mom….always involved in school activities and loving every minute of the hustle and bustle of life. Room Mom, Team Mom, always baking cookies……..I was folding laundry one day and my daughter was sharing a story about something that happened at school. What someone wore, or who said what to whom…….I found myself half listening in that moment. Perhaps thinking about what to prepare for dinner, or which child had a game scheduled for that week.
I instinctively put down my laundry, turned to my sweet girl and listened intently to her story. From that day forward, I made that a practice – giving them my undivided attention when they wanted to share. To be sure, some stories were boring, but from that day forward, my children knew that if they had something to say, I was there to look them in the eye and listen.
Tweeking is sometimes life changing!
Now, at 61 years old, I find myself feeling so grateful for those years, grateful for the precious moments with my children and now…..so blessed to share new moments with my Grandchildren.
My sister passed away Friday night from a massive brain hemorrhage. Her husband was out of town for the night and right before 3am she was googling her symptoms – nausea with headache and dizziness. She called her husband’s sister who lives nearby followed by a text that said “911–David’s not home”. We saw it in her phone. The call was missed and the text was not seen until 6:30 and the sister called her brother in law who lives close by and asked him to check on her. He found her unconscious and barely breathing on the bathroom floor. The ambulance took her to the hospital but her eyes were fixed and dilated and she was declared brain dead. She bled into her cerebellum right above the brain stem for about 4 hours. I held her hand all afternoon waiting for her girls to fly in from out of state. I was asked by her husband to write her obituary and to do the in person identification for cremation because he could not bear to do it. She was only 57. I feel like she was robbed of at least 20 years of her life. Her eldest daughter is moving home to Mobile on June 20 because she is going to start her family and wanted to be near her mom and dad. My sister was so excited to have her back home and was giddy to become a grandmother. My sister had just spent the previous weekend in D.C. helping her pack. I would like to be back in my 40s when my husband, my dad and my mom and my sister would still be alive for a few more years. It is going to take me a very long time to somewhat recover from this devastating trauma.
Oh Linda, I’m so sorry for you and your whole family. Prayers of comfort and healing for all of you. I can relate because this is how we lost my mom, in a similar situation.
Oh, that totally made me cry. It all goes by so fast. In the last 6 months I finally became a grandmother of not one, but 2 beautiful babies. A girl now 7 months and a boy just 5 weeks old. It brings it all rushing back to how it was, how we were so busy that so much geot taken for granted. I try to soak a little more of it up now. I would give anything if my mom could meet her great grandbabies. Whew. I love reading your posts, but this one really made an impact. Thanks for sharing it.
We also have 3 sons and I also just turned 22 when our oldest was born. The years with our young boys, all the activities were wonderful, I look back so fondly. The 30’s were great, but I truly enjoyed my 50’s when our children got married and even started their own families. We had so much fun with our family back then. Even though they all live within walking distance (how fortunate are we!) they are now extremely busy with family and work. Our oldest grandchildren, twin girls, just graduated college. so life is changing again and getting broader. By the way, you are so right about the phones – life without constant distraction was so much better.
I had never before thought about my favorite decade, but yes, I would also choose my 30’s. Like you I thoroughly enjoyed being a mom. I just didn’t realize how beautiful it all was until I became an empty nester. Thank you for bringing back all the wonderful memories. You made my day.
Beautifully written! I couldn’t have written it any better…I’ve loved my life and would go back and do it all over in a heartbeat!
I am now 72 and with positive thoughts I look forward to watching my children and grandchildren live a full life.
Everyday I miss my Mom and Dad and my brother! They too had a wonderful life….
Thank you for this walk down memory lane…enjoy every day!
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Good morning, everyone!
I hope you’re having a wonderful week and that everyone had a fantastic holiday weekend. I’m continuing with my Let’s Talk series—so many of you have shared how much you’re enjoying it, and I have to say, I am too. It’s beginning to feel like a bit of a personal diary, where I can open up about various topics and then hand the mic to you.
Recently, I came across an Instagram post that struck a deep chord. I saved it and have read over it several times Every single sentence resonated—it was as if I had written it myself (minus the part about being 80!).
It reflected so beautifully on the days when life was loud and busy, with children underfoot and schedules that felt never-ending. It was chaotic, yes—but also incredibly rich and fulfilling. And even in the moment, I knew how lucky I was. Here is that post, I can’t read it without getting teary eyed-
It brought me right back to when my kids were young (and the “mom” part really hit me) . We started our family early—I was just 22 when my oldest son was born—and with the age spread between my kids, I spent a good long stretch in that season of motherhood. I wouldn’t trade those years for anything. I feel so deeply grateful that I was able to be a full-time mother, and I know that’s a privilege not everyone has—or even wants. But for me, it was a gift.
All of this made me wonder:If you could go back to one decade of your life, which would it be? For me, I think it would be my 30s.
I say my 30s because I was still quite young, raising three active boys and fully immersed in motherhood. We were in the thick of it—endless practices, school concerts, out-of-town tournaments—and I truly loved every minute. I cherished every aspect of their childhood and felt so lucky to have a front-row seat for all of it.
Socially, life was busy. We had a large circle of friends, lots of parties and get-togethers. Over time, I’ve definitely shrunk my circle—something my mother always said would happen. Quality over quantity, she used to say, and she was right. My circle may be smaller now, but it’s filled with truly exceptional friends. And for that, I feel fortunate.
I had endless amounts of energy, there wasn’t a thing I didn’t’ feel like I could not do. I got on my kids skateboard, practiced lacrosse and basketball with them, and even did cartwheels to prove I could. Not a single ache to worry about! It was rare to hear of someone getting seriously ill (cancer, chronic illness,etc) Now I feel every time I turn around, I am hearing of someone being stricken with something (aging relatives and too often, my own contemporaries) Looking back, you feel innocently invinsible, like it will never change.
Occasionally I will come across an article of clothing from “that decade of life” and look at it and think did I really fit into that! Never thought twice about having a closet of size 4’s. Its wild how hindsight works isn’t it! I nitpicked back then if I was having a bad hair day but looking at those same photos I see glowing skin, youthful (and sometimes naive confidence) and a taut body that could wear anything.
In my 30’s we had just built our first home, life felt exciting, non stop and full, and I’ll always remember my 30s as a decade of joy, purpose, and connection.It was a home where days were full and endless, hordes of kids friends bounced in and out, the tapping of the basketball was never ending, and sports equipment strewn about was commonplace. Those sounds are missed.
And then there’s the social media factor, which warrants its very own post. How I wish my kids could experience that era just for a day or two. When we left for vacations that was it- no contact of any kind for a week. We anticipated coming up and reconnecting with everyone, running to CVS to develop our pictures and easing back into real life. No distractions. when we were together, we were together. And today, families don’t get that privilege. Feel so fortunate we got to experience that. (saving this subject for another post)
Looking back, another big difference in who I was then versus now is how little anxiety I had. I just did things—without overthinking, without second-guessing. I lived in the moment. These days, I’m more of a planner, a bit more OCD, and definitely more anxiety-prone. Maybe because life was just so full back then I didn’t have time to be anxious. I got up and just allowed the day to unfold, they were always full and somehow things worked out as they were meant to be. I wouldn’t mind a week or two of not having anxiety, and have to admit its rearing its ugly head now that Phillip is in the picture! Yes, the 30’s were a great decade, and of course I realize and appreciate it now more than ever. At the same time, how lucky Iwas to have them.
If I’m really lucky, one day I’ll write a post saying this current decade is my favorite. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Now it’s your turn—what was your favorite decade, and why? Let’s talk.
Wishing everyone a wonderful day. Until next time……
Oh my! That is bittersweet and brought tears to my eyes! We don’t realize, as young mothers, that the journey is the destination! I’d like to wake up and have one more day of chaos with those sweet little kids, now beautiful adults!
Your post is spot on! I’m 81-look in the mirror- wow, yes I’m 81! Every morning I sit with my coffee and thank God for my blessed life. Love following your blog! It starts my morning-Thank You!
I so miss the years when they were all home and we could all sit around the table eating dinner together. I think about that often. I guess this is why being a grandparent is so sweet. It must bring a lot of wonderful memories and moments back 🙂
Ditto to all you said and feel.
Life was wonderful without cellphones, in my opinion.
We were focused on each other.
It was easy to stay connected with those you loved and cared about with no distractions.
Our world is so busy.
Time marches on, sadly.
Ecclesiastes 3 says there is a time/season for everything.
Love your posts!
I agree, my 30’s…we were in our first home, raising two boys, and my parents were both so eager to help if we needed anything , including a rare date night. We were a two income family, fortunately I worked during the day, and my husband at night so someone was always home with our boys. I too miss the neighbor kids eating us out of house and home. And was quickly reminded my boys did the same at their friends’ homes lol! Yes, I treasure the memories, but I am making new ones with our grandchildren 🥰
I live in a small town in west Tennessee , very different from where you live , however, what you wrote is exactly my story , too . I have always said the 30s was my favorite era of time for the very reasons you mentioned . I am 68 now . life is good but it is filled with many loved ones facing illnesses . I do have different worries for our 3 grandsons and the social media era . Our grandsons are home schooled by our daughter who was a teacher in the public school system . She quit her lifelong dream of teaching children for a lot of reasons that I won’t get into . We are grateful that she homeschools our grandchildren. They are far removed from social media . Parents and grandparents should watch the documentary “Social Dilemma “. So frightening . Thank you for your words ,
Love this. Thank you.
Feeling this acutely today. My son graduated from high school over the weekend and my daughter 8th grade. We are currently packing for a cross-country move away from the community we’ve lived in for all of our kids’ lives. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. I’m an older mom so very aware of the ticking of time. For Mother’s Day last year, I asked for a digital frame and a slideshow. My husband actually rigged up an IPad with a frame which has turned out to be better. We can add videos as well as photos so their little faces and voices pop up randomly, and it is a complete joy to see these snippets of our lives and get back those years for a brief moment.
Looking “back”…guess, my 40s…my 1st husband (high school classmate) died, suddenly…we were married 5 years. A “Knight in Shining Armor” rescued me & we’re on to #54. So, I started “momming” at 33 & 37 … my 40s were magic moments I never thought, for a time w/happen. Now, I’m 81 AND…the magic is STILL HAPPENING!! GO FIGURE…LIFE!! franki
ps… the “Look Back” nailed it… ❤️
83! Best years for me in young years = high school. I worked on weekends and summer days but wild and free. Next block, married, pre children. Taught kindergarten to children without behavior problems. It was a dream. We taught ABC ‘s, phonics, numbers, patterns + traditional history. So much fun. Then years with children, first houses, car pools, sports, dinner at the table every evening together, story time before bed. Life went on and I feel so fortunate to have been born into a good family, in the time I was born, and where. Grateful for all the adventures I have had.
I’m totally crying reading this. You captured all of it. I, too, have 3 sons and my favorite decade was my 30’s. I was lucky enough to be a full time stay at home mom and I loved every moment of it. I felt like you were describing my life… right down to the basketball and lacrosse (& I’d add tennis to mine). I used to always say that someday it would be quiet and I’d miss the chaos and now I’m there. It’s so interesting that my whole life I had visions of how it would be- high school, then college, then work a bit, get married, have kids, raise the kids, and then…. I never had a vision beyond that. My sons are early 20’s, late teen and so no marriages nor grandkids yet; I find myself in this strange void of a time. Wondering what exactly is my daily purpose. I find moments of prayer and dear friends have helped me when that anxiety creeps in.
Thank you for your posts- I always enjoy them.
Im 84 and I have been blessed all of my life, not that it hasn’t had i
It’s share of ups and downs. I loved raising my children and enjoyed every stage thru college. Our children were close in age, so it seemed like we did everything in double time and then in our early 40’s the college years started and suddenly it was just the two of us, and we embraced our time together. Those were wonderful years.
The decades with our grandchildren came next and we were fortunate enough to spend alot of time with them with and without their parents. Now we have grandchildren out of college, starting their own lives and adventures. The years with the nuclear family are precious and life will never be the same, but I had many decades in my life that have had their own special beauty.
When the children were young and I was having a bad mom day, my mother would tell me that “these are the best years of your life,” but
I’ve been truly blessed with many “best years of my life.”
All the comments are so much like my own memories. More hugs more kisses and oh to the lost energy fountain.
And time goes by so quickly , never a truer statement
If I had to pick an age, it would be 30. I had our 3 sons and our family was complete. I married at 20 and my husband was 24. I had my first son at 24, our second at 25 and our third at 30. Now I am 76 and my husband is 80. We have 3 amazing daughters-in-law. We have 7 Grandchildren ranging in ages 21 to 3. Five Granddaughters and two Grandsons. We are blessed with good health and have life long friends. Every day is a gift and I am thankful for each new day. We still live in the house we bought in 1971 for $28,000. Our cars cost more than our house did! We have added onto the house over the years and it still is home to us.
51 here and I already am longing for the days when my kiddos were young and under foot. Now they are 14, 16 and 17 and they are busy little humans forging their own paths.
We started later with our family- if I were to do it all again I would want to be in my late 30’s-early 40’s when they were all young(er). We are at a turning point, though we will have the two youngest around for a few more years, I already am longing for having that “full nest”. Lucky for you that you are such a young grandmother! Great and thought provoking post!
Feeling a bit melancholy while reading today’s post! The memories are vivid, etched in my mind ..a time I didn’t know would end so quickly, new seasons, one after another! I now, at 71, have all the time to pursue my sports and hobbies, which is wonderful, but I wish just for one day to go back to those hectic days of raising our children, and building a life for ourselves and family. I love to ask my grown son what were the highlights of his childhood. It brings a smile to my face to hear him reminiscing about the wonderful growing up years he had!
I’m at a work conference crying because I just read this blog. My 20’s. I miss the miracles of my 2nd decade.
I got married at 20. Graduated with nursing degree the next year. Enjoyed making my own money and decorating our tiny, run down home. Then 4 years of painful, devastating infertility. A test of my faith and relationships. I completed a master’s to become a Nurse Practitioner in an effort to fight depression. Then it happened. I was pregnant after 3 surgical procedures and debt. Gratitude for undeserved gift of motherhood. My life, hope, gratitude, and joy bloomed. A second baby completed our family 19 months after the first. We were busy! We loved it! I worked part time and played part time. Now my daughter is 27, married pharmacist who lives away from me. My son is a 25 year old account and lives with us-again.
We lost both of my in-laws and recently my father. I miss the sweet spot. Where we had each other, our kids and our parents. It was such a blessing, such joy! I would love to go back for a day. Just one day to have it all again!
Didn’t have kids until 41…so at 61 I have college twins at home this summer…and am loving it! Have loved the last 20 years too! I think I’m in ‘better’ shape now so I wouldn’t go back except to gain more years with my kids in general….and though, not my Blog, I love reading how many are 80+. What advice would you have for a mom who sometime in the next 3 to 5 years will be a total empty nester….totally dreading it! What memories should I definitely do now before the window closes? Young adults starting out always find time for parentally paid expensive vacations (think safari) please let us know about other things. Wonderful post and comments.
Crying over this post and I am just about to turn 55, on June 2nd! I have a 16 year old and 2 stepdaughters (9 and 11). So we still have quite a busy household. But I do feel like they are growing awfully fast and I do miss those days when they were young and we did almost everything together. Now they want to be with their friends via school and all their many activities. Its a different phase, but on the other hand- getting a lot more time to myself, going back to school, to get my Master’s degree! Get to play a lot more golf and tennis too. I think I would opt for my 40’s to go back to. But I am trying to embrace the here and now!
So I turned 62, 2 years ago and I have to say so far this might be my favorite decade. I got into really good shape, I have taken up golf and pickle ball. We bought a second home so we enjoy going back and forth and have therefore, expanded our social circle. Both my kids are in college. They are happy and well adjusted so we have piece of mind. My husband is semi retired, and we are loving this phase of our life. We have booked trips which we were saving to do when the twins left for college, life is good.
Loved this post (and love your blog), Tina. I rarely comment but this one really resonated with me.
What a powerful post! One that I will read over and over again. I imagine many Mothers can relate on some level.
I too was quite young when I had my children, but it was in my early 30s when I remember realizing that I needed to do some “tweeking”.
I had arrived at my children’s school one afternoon, and idled in the pickup line. My daughter skipped out first, with her hair in place, cascading down her back secured with a plaid bow. Her crisp white blouse was tucked neatly into her perfectly pressed pleated jumper.
My son came out next. His hair was crazy and his crisp white shirt was untucked and decorated with something he had for lunch. His belt was nowhere to be seen. He was my happy ragamuffin to be sure. I caught my reflection in the rearview mirror and it occurred to me that my face read “What happened to you today?”. I’m sure my sweet boy didn’t catch it, but I did, and promised in that moment that I would always greet my children with a smile. They always knew that I was so happy to see them.
As a busy Mom….always involved in school activities and loving every minute of the hustle and bustle of life. Room Mom, Team Mom, always baking cookies……..I was folding laundry one day and my daughter was sharing a story about something that happened at school. What someone wore, or who said what to whom…….I found myself half listening in that moment. Perhaps thinking about what to prepare for dinner, or which child had a game scheduled for that week.
I instinctively put down my laundry, turned to my sweet girl and listened intently to her story. From that day forward, I made that a practice – giving them my undivided attention when they wanted to share. To be sure, some stories were boring, but from that day forward, my children knew that if they had something to say, I was there to look them in the eye and listen.
Tweeking is sometimes life changing!
Now, at 61 years old, I find myself feeling so grateful for those years, grateful for the precious moments with my children and now…..so blessed to share new moments with my Grandchildren.
My sister passed away Friday night from a massive brain hemorrhage. Her husband was out of town for the night and right before 3am she was googling her symptoms – nausea with headache and dizziness. She called her husband’s sister who lives nearby followed by a text that said “911–David’s not home”. We saw it in her phone. The call was missed and the text was not seen until 6:30 and the sister called her brother in law who lives close by and asked him to check on her. He found her unconscious and barely breathing on the bathroom floor. The ambulance took her to the hospital but her eyes were fixed and dilated and she was declared brain dead. She bled into her cerebellum right above the brain stem for about 4 hours. I held her hand all afternoon waiting for her girls to fly in from out of state. I was asked by her husband to write her obituary and to do the in person identification for cremation because he could not bear to do it. She was only 57. I feel like she was robbed of at least 20 years of her life. Her eldest daughter is moving home to Mobile on June 20 because she is going to start her family and wanted to be near her mom and dad. My sister was so excited to have her back home and was giddy to become a grandmother. My sister had just spent the previous weekend in D.C. helping her pack. I would like to be back in my 40s when my husband, my dad and my mom and my sister would still be alive for a few more years. It is going to take me a very long time to somewhat recover from this devastating trauma.
Linda, I’m so sorry for your loss. There are no words. Big hugs to you.
Oh Linda, I’m so sorry for you and your whole family. Prayers of comfort and healing for all of you. I can relate because this is how we lost my mom, in a similar situation.
Oh, that totally made me cry. It all goes by so fast. In the last 6 months I finally became a grandmother of not one, but 2 beautiful babies. A girl now 7 months and a boy just 5 weeks old. It brings it all rushing back to how it was, how we were so busy that so much geot taken for granted. I try to soak a little more of it up now. I would give anything if my mom could meet her great grandbabies. Whew. I love reading your posts, but this one really made an impact. Thanks for sharing it.
We also have 3 sons and I also just turned 22 when our oldest was born. The years with our young boys, all the activities were wonderful, I look back so fondly. The 30’s were great, but I truly enjoyed my 50’s when our children got married and even started their own families. We had so much fun with our family back then. Even though they all live within walking distance (how fortunate are we!) they are now extremely busy with family and work. Our oldest grandchildren, twin girls, just graduated college. so life is changing again and getting broader. By the way, you are so right about the phones – life without constant distraction was so much better.
I had never before thought about my favorite decade, but yes, I would also choose my 30’s. Like you I thoroughly enjoyed being a mom. I just didn’t realize how beautiful it all was until I became an empty nester. Thank you for bringing back all the wonderful memories. You made my day.
Beautifully written! I couldn’t have written it any better…I’ve loved my life and would go back and do it all over in a heartbeat!
I am now 72 and with positive thoughts I look forward to watching my children and grandchildren live a full life.
Everyday I miss my Mom and Dad and my brother! They too had a wonderful life….
Thank you for this walk down memory lane…enjoy every day!